Oh, Gossip Girl, how I wait eagerly every week for your witty voice-overs and glorious shots of my favorite city, New York! Blair’s mother, Eleanor Waldorf, is this high-end fashion designer, right? And little Jenny used to intern for her ... but then things got iffy ... Jenny tried setting up her own fashion line ... but this Agnes byatch ruined it all... Jenny’s dad had a little talk with Eleanor ... and now Jenny can come back to work on a new teen line ... except Agnes is working there, too. Then there’s dirty Damien who still tries to use Jenny to push pills. You can’t kill roaches. Agnes tries to sabotage Jenny’s chances at Eleanor’s ... puts roofies in her drink ... and then dumps her at some bachelor party ... obviously hoping Jenny gets deflowered. Thank heavens there’s always Nate to barge in and save her!
Meanwhile, Vanessa’s insecurities run rampant now that she’s finally dating Dan. Oh, the Drama! They’ve been dating mere weeks and she’s already afraid they’re stuck in a rut... She tries role playing ... awkward ... resulting in the worst date ever. Dan just isn’t that type of guy, and she should know that. He’s a nerd at heart. He likes things to go just like they always did. No, they’re not just friends with benefits ... you know, between the sheets ... She’s his girlfriend now. That’s what’s different, that’s what makes it romantic for him. Um, boring? Anyway, little Chucky’s been played by Uncle Jack and his mother (or is she? No, she isn’t his mom. Yes, she is. Wait! No, she isn’t. Or, maybe...) ... and now Chuck’s lost his Empire Hotel. Oh, all the drama! The rich and fabulous lead such inneressing lives. Not. Still, I love Gossip Girl!
Meanwhile, Vanessa’s insecurities run rampant now that she’s finally dating Dan. Oh, the Drama! They’ve been dating mere weeks and she’s already afraid they’re stuck in a rut... She tries role playing ... awkward ... resulting in the worst date ever. Dan just isn’t that type of guy, and she should know that. He’s a nerd at heart. He likes things to go just like they always did. No, they’re not just friends with benefits ... you know, between the sheets ... She’s his girlfriend now. That’s what’s different, that’s what makes it romantic for him. Um, boring? Anyway, little Chucky’s been played by Uncle Jack and his mother (or is she? No, she isn’t his mom. Yes, she is. Wait! No, she isn’t. Or, maybe...) ... and now Chuck’s lost his Empire Hotel. Oh, all the drama! The rich and fabulous lead such inneressing lives. Not. Still, I love Gossip Girl!
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