Benidorm 4x03

Mateo is late for his water aerobics class at the Solana. His outfit is hilarious! But he is livid. “Lady, I look like a homosexual gay,” he tells Janey. “Looking good, handsome,” Lesly winks from behind the bar. Alas, the work-out is too much for poor Donald. “You look like you’re going to die,” little Michael tells him. A little later Donald falls over into the water. Janey is furious at Mateo, threatening to sack him if Donald dies. In fact, she sends him packing anyway. Sweet Lesly comes up with an idea to help Mateo keep his job. His dimwitted son forges an affidavit in M. Garvey’s name claiming that Donald’s accident did not occur while he was taking part in Mateo’s class. Oh, you have to know the series to fully grasp all the levels of funny at play here.

Meanwhile two big men dressed in black suits walk into the poolside. While Mick is eavesdropping, the suits tell Lesly they are looking for Madge Harvey to settle a debt with her. Mick tries hiding the problem from his family. Then Lesly compliments Madge, “Well, you are an amazing woman Misses Harvey. All I’m saying is that if two big hairy gorillas just threatened to kill me over an unpaid debt, I’d be putting my knickers on the boil wash by now. Heheh heheh heh.” Obviously his family isn’t going to let Mick deal with the situation on his own. I can’t begin to describe the showdown in the run-down theme park with Mr. Pink, the flamboyant gangster who is demanding his money. You have to see it for yourself. It really is rolling-on-the-floor uproarious! And Madge gets off scot-free, her debt cleared. Better still, Mr. Pink sends her a suitcase full of cash. Those tears your Cricket’s crying are from laughing, I swear!

For her part, Pauline keeps nagging at her mother and plans to leave. Gavin and Kenneth keep bickering, too. “Could’ve been you there in the pool,” Kenneth says. “I beg your pardon,” Gavin replies. Then suddenly Kenneth rushes off without so much as an explanation. When he returns, men keep passing by who seem to know Kenneth. Diverting the conversation, Kenneth asks Gavin out for a pizza. Suddenly he has money he earlier claimed he didn’t bring with him. You and I both know what Gavin is suspecting! At dinner Kenneth even wears an expensive watch he bought that afternoon to treat himself. “Faggots!” Donald shouts, as they’re eating meatballs. “How dare you! Did Judy Garland die for nothing? Oh, hello Donald.” And off Kenneth goes with another man. Gavin follows him up to the room and overhears Kenneth saying, “Now, it’s up to you to tell me how far you wanna go.” Gavin barges in, only to find Kenneth doing a little hairdressing on the side to earn some extra spending money. Yeah, this show is brilliant!