Archetypical Playboy Hugh Heffner claims he couldn’t be happier with his new Girls Next Door. He thought he found the love of his life in Holly Madison. Everyone who watched the show (which must include Hef) knows that Holly wanted marriage with children. She wanted to be sure Hef wasn’t going to replace her, she wanted a sense of security, a sense of certainty, a sense of commitment. He didn’t give her that. So she up and left. He lost her. You can clearly see that he’s hiding his pain and disappointment when he claims to be happy. Maybe he’s even lying to himself about it. Who knows? He’s overly emotional around Barbi Benton, his former girlfriend (notice: not his ex-girlfriend), they have a bond he’ll never have with his latest live-in girlfriend, that airhead Crystal, or with those annoying twin twits Karissa and Kristina. He even admits he can’t keep them apart! Can you imagine this octogenarian is sleeping with girls that are literally barely legal? It’s pathetic, but atrociously fascinating to watch! Apocalyptically ghastly! HA-Hah-hahahah!
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