Planet Terror

In the spirit of Halloween, the Cricket thought it would be appropriate chirping on some over-the-top zombie horror action flick, like Planet Terror (2007), Robert Rodriguez’ contribution to the Grindhouse double feature. This is a textbook example of disgusting sore and rotting gore, and an all-out splatterfest. Nothing spells over-the-top better than a former go-go dancer (Rose McGowen) with a machine gun for a prosthetic leg. Then there’s the botched military transaction with some Indian biochemist who likes to cut off testicles. A green fume is released, prisoners escape, and soon radioactive blistered zombies are attacking stranded damsels (including Fergie). We also have a paranoid doctor who is treating the affected townspeople – and who is suspecting his anesthesiologist wife of cheating on him (with Fergie! Nice. But she’s dead.) Before you know it all hell is breaking lose in all its fiery rampage. And amidst such terrifying insanity, the only natural thing to do is having sex. The faux-seventies air, with the weird new-age synthesizer soundtrack, is annoyingly distracting. Never mind it’s supposed to be a “tribute” to the grindhouse fare of yesteryears. The story obviously takes place in this millennium, what with the cell phones, rifles with night-goggles, video games, references to the “Food Channel,” Jesse James the motorcycle guy, and even Bin frikken Laden! It would have been fun if I could turn my brain off, but I’ve seen worse.