Modern Family 1x16

What is a Modern Family most afraid of? Alex: global warming and getting a B. Clair: the phone ringing in the middle of the night. Phil: job interviews. Jay: pigeons – ’cause they’re shifty. Cam: losing Mitchell. Mitchell: hotel bed spreads. Haley: never getting a driver’s license – or getting one, but the picture sucks. Manny: dying alone. Yes, yes, the Cricket admits: this show is growing on me! Haley really is petrified she will fail her driving test. To make it worse, she gets the same instructor who failed her twice before. He’s able to calm her nerves and she finally passes the test. For her part, Alex wants to dodge the school ball because she thinks its lame – and because she’s afraid no one will ask her to dance. Clair convinces her to go and she does end up dancing at the ball. Then there’s Phil, who’s afraid of small, dark spaces. When Luke wants to go treasure hunter under the house, Phil turns a remote-controlled toy truck into a Mars Rover, so he won’t have to go inside the crawlspace. Naturally, the truck rolls over, Luke gets stuck, and Phil has no other choice than to crawl inside and save the day. He pronounces himself a hero.

Meanwhile, Manny doesn’t want to go to a party at an amusement park, because he’s scared of roller-coasters. Gloria offers to take him on a fishing trip off the pier. This, of course, was a diversion, as there’s a roller-coaster at the pier as well. Turns out, Jay is scared of them, too. But when Gloria decides to take the helter-skelter by herself, the two men can’t stand by idly. They overcome their fear, but by Jay’s pale face, I’d say, only by the skin of his teeth. Cameron has invited Lily’s Asian-American pediatrician, lovely Dr. Miura (Suzy Nakamura), over for brunch. A gay father’s worst nightmare happens when Lily utters her first word at the table: “Mommy”! Cameron is sure this is because Lily was raised by Vietnamese nurses before they adopted her, and Dr. Miura is, well, Asian, too. Plus, Mitchell believes it’s because Dr. Miura has, you know, breasts. OMG, these guys are hilarious! She tries to reassure them, but Lily repeats the M word, just to rub it in. She tells them Lily is the luckiest little girl having two caring fathers – and that mother’s aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be. But in the end they find that Lily simply picked up the M word from her new doll that says “mommy” when you squeeze its belly. “The doll says ‘mommy’!” they exclaim in excitement, hugging and dancing. They’re the happiest guys on earth!