Californication 4x12

Easily the best episode of the season, perhaps of the entire series thus far. After all the hoopla about Hank Moody unwittingly having sex with an overly eager underage Mia, it’s time to wrap things up. The judge reads her sentence, explaining how Hank has been a tragic disappointment, behaving like an animal and living in flagrant defiance of the rules of society. He is found guilty of statutory rape, but, she continues, the real crime not one of moral turpitude, but that Hank seems committed to squandering his gifts and wasting what appears to be a rewarding life. She sentences him to three years. Hank passes out. When he comes to, on the courtroom floor with Abby lunging over him, he asks “I got three years, didn’t I?” “Yes you did,” Abby replies, “Probation.” He kisses her – the scene cuts to her bedroom ... And Justice for All (a reference to Metallica’s 1988 album). Let’s read between the lines, and notice how Hank Moody is portrayed as an immoral misfit, rather than a conscientious non-conformist, an animal living by no rules, rather than an intelligent artist deciding not to abide by the standards of society.

The next day Stu Beggs has a party celebrating that Fucking & Punching is going into production. Hank brings Abby, to Karen’s dismay. While she brings handsome Ben, to Hank’s dismay. Sasha is there, with a new boy toy in tow. Eddie Nero, too. Of course Marcy is there, and Runkle brings crazy kinky Peggy. How could this not go wrong? It starts out awkward and it only gets worse. Jealous tension is rife. Nero tosses some oil on the fire. Things get out of hand. Peggy asks Runkle if he still loves Marcy, and he wholeheartedly confesses that he has been and always will be in love with Marcy. Marcy admits she’s carrying Charlie’s baby – not Stu’s. Peggy slams a knife in Runkle’s hand. Cat fight! Hank and Stu hold back Marcy, while Nero starts making out with psycho Peggy. And this is why the Cricket still loves this show. The only question is: what is going to happen next season, or, how will Californication continue entertaining us, with everything wrapped up so nicely. Towards the end Becca says that a chapter has been closed. It rather feels we’re moving on to another book.

Californication 4x11

“Novelist Moody Found Guilty in Lolita Rape Case.” That’s the headline news Karen reads on her iMac after the jury read their verdict. Imagine! “Well, that happened,” Hank sighs, asking Abby, “What do we do now?” “Let’s go get shitfaced,” she replies. Next scene we’re back in Hank’s dream that started off the whole series four years ago: getting a blow job in church from a nun who advises him to drive off as fast as he can even if that means he has to steal a car. When he wakes up, he’s in bed with Abby. He tries sneaking out, but she stops him. They still don’t know what he’ll be facing: prison or probation. Instead of heading to Karen and Becca, he knocks on Charlie’s door, meeting his kinky real estate agent Peggy, who immediately whispers in Runkle’s ear she wants to play home invasion rape with Hank. When he finally picks up Becca from school, she blames him for being selfish, for always evading reality, and for being so proud to be cool. She’d rather have a boring, normal dad, who’d be there for her.

He drops her off and returns to his hotel lobby. There he spots an old acquaintance, hooker Trixie, with whom he finds some solace. Then he slips into another dream, in boring 1950’s black & white, of his live as a regular joe. Comes nighttime, he’s about to hit the highway in his newly purchased Porsche (with royalties for his novel Slowly We Rot – a reference to the debut album of Florida death metal act Obituary) – when Marcy calls with some bogus excuse to lure him over to Karen’s: Surprise! “We wanted to throw you a ‘Hank is Innocent’ party, but we had to work with what you gave us,” Runkle chuckles. They have the sweetest time, reminiscing how things were better once, in happier times, when the four of them were still two loving couples, and Becca wanted to grow up fast, because they made it look like so much fun. It’s a beautiful moment, and small wonder it takes up about a third of the episode, for it gives emotional depth to the story – and a nice reward for sitting through some of the flirty fluff and moral ambivalence: this scene gives the whole season a human heart.

Californication 4x10

Certainly the Cricket could be criticized for being cynical, but I find the main story arc of Californication a tad too melodramatic. Yes, I understand that Karen isn’t too happy that the man who claims to love her slept with an under-aged girl who happened to be the daughter of her fiancé at the time. But she knows Hank, he cannot refuse temptation, yet he did not rape Mia. By all accounts she seduced him. I did enjoy the in-joke, though, when Hank is getting ready for court, looking in the mirror combing his hair saying, “I look like a fucking FBI Agent.” (Get it?) In court, the prosecution first asks Charlie Runkle as witness. Not good. The man is so nervous, all he does is talk about Hank’s sexcapades. Hank finds the stories funny, but meanwhile the jury is painted a picture of a promiscuous, immoral asshole bent on self-destruction. The prosecution also wishes to insinuate that Hank slept with Mia to take revenge on Karen’s fiancé Bill Lewis. When Karen is asked to testify, Abby nicely sums up her relationship with Hank: she broke up with him, to move in with Bill, then she abandoned Bill at the altar to move back in with Hank; she threw him out when she thought he got another woman pregnant, left for New York without her daughter, came back to play house some more; then broke off with Hank yet again when he was accused of statutory rape. Ouch.

When it’s time for recess, there’s no cause for celebration yet, but there’s no reason to worry either. Then the prosecution calls William Lewis, who testifies that Hank had in fact met Mia the day before he slept with her. Bad news for the defendant. He is certain Hank seduced her to spite him. But when Mia comes to the stand she assures the jury that Hank had no recollection of their first meeting: he was drunk and sick, moved in and out of sleep. She also confesses that she was deliberately looking for trouble, resenting the fact that her father had jumped into a new relationship so soon after her mother’s death, plus the fact that he was hardly ever home. She appreciated Karen’s attempts to be there for her, but she wouldn’t listen. She met Hank at the book store and seduced him. Abby is livid: the seed of doubt has been planted among the jury. Karen is beyond anger and doesn’t even want to speak to Hank. The Fuck Up himself doesn’t know what just hit him. Perhaps it’s a testament to the series that we still sympathize with him, or maybe I just don’t see what the big deal is all about. It’s not like Hank did it on purpose. We will have to wait at least another week until we hear the jury’s verdict.

Californication 4x09

After a pep talk with Abby Rhodes, Hank returns to his hotel room, only to find he is locked out because his credit card declined his bill of a meager $25,000. Instead of knocking on someone’s door or finding a floozy to go home with, he sleeps in his Porsche in front of Karen’s house. In the morning, with bird poo on his shirt, Becca finds him and asks him in. They actually manage to get over the awkwardness and have a nice day together – almost like a family – teaching Becca to drive. Then it’s evening time, and handsome Ben is stopping by to drop off Pearl and pick up Karen. Hank gets bitter, fails to make a decent meal for the girls, and can’t connect with Pearl. He falls asleep, they nick his car keys and sneak out. When the girls crash the Porsche, without hurting anyone, Ben is livid, but both Becca and Karen stand up for Hank that the girls would have tried the same if it had been Karen who dozed off. Could this be the end of Ben? Let’s hope so.

Meanwhile, Runkle continues his freaky affair with the real estate agent Peggy, pretending to be siblings and acting rough between the sheets. Marcy still has not told Stu that she isn’t carrying his child, but Runkle’s. For his part, Stu asks Marcy to invite Runkle for dinner – plus one is okay – in an effort to behave as adults, while setting Marcy up to rub the joyous news. Marcy is stunned that Runkle is dating their real estate agent, but he points out the hypocrisy in that: she’s the one who has already moved in with one of the richest producers in town; he is just enjoying being single. At the dinner table Stu regales his guests with Hollywood stories, while Marcy keeps dodging his cues to tell Runkle about her pregnancy. She pours a glass of wine for courage and Stu yells, “the baby!” Runkle pretends to be unfazed and happy for Marcy, but can’t help notice it’s a little soon, since they only know each other for six weeks. Back in Runkle’s car, Peggy acts jealous of Runkle’s affection for Marcy, but ends up going down on him anyway. “Another Perfect Day,” as per the episode’s title.

Californication 4x08

Runkle has some good news for Hank: now that Eddie Nero (Rob Lowe) is on board, Sasha Bingham (Addison Timlin) is willing to return to the project, too. She also has a job for him making fast cash rewriting her current script for some blockbuster zombie sequel. But Hank gets called away by Pearl (Zoë Kravitz), that Becca is skipping class to get drunk and high and giving blow jobs with the Queens of Dogtown. When he finally returns to the hotel at the end of the day, he meets a beautiful woman at the bar (Callie Thorne, who we saw in Burn Notice), with daughter issues of her own. The morning after, he learns in the most unpleasant, nutcracking way that her daughter is none other than Sasha herself. Meanwhile, Marcy cannot make up her mind whether to terminate her pregnancy or what to do with Stu. When she tells him she’s expecting, he gets overjoyed thinking he is finally becoming a father. For his part, Runkle gets a house call from a real estate agent, who immediately invites him to treat her rough in the bedroom. In the lasts scene, Tommy Lee is singing “Home Sweet Home” in the hotel bar... Could it be that Hank can patch things up with Karen and go back home?

Californication 4x07

This was an episode full of fart jokes, involuntary bowel movements, urinating on the golf course, and genital mishaps. Hank remains painfully jealous of Karen’s newfound friendship with handsome Ben, father of the Queens of Dogtown’s lead vocalist. Meanwhile he has just bedded his former attorney Abby, who decides it would be unethical to represent him in court. She thus introduces him to her senior partner, a bore of an old fart himself, who takes Hank golfing – where Hank’s aforementioned urination fails to charm. For his part, Stu asks Runkle’s help pitching a TV show for his soon-to-be ex Marcy – a talk show about her experience waxing the stars. Stu’s jitters offer more potty jokes, Marcy stumbles over her own words. It’s Runkle who steps up the plate and impresses the execs with his pitch about “Nicole’s” winter bush. In the end, Hank and Ben both attend an acoustic show of their daughters, with Karen in the middle holding both their hands under the table. It’s time for her to chose.

Californication 4x06

If things seemed to be improving for Hank Moody, you just know they are going to take a turn for the worse soon. He had another uh-oh moment, caught in bed with Mia as well as Sasha, and both had their hands in his pants. Some douchebag snapped a photo and now it’s all over the web. His attorney Abby Rhoads (yeah, that’s her full name, heheh) drops him as her client. If that’s not bad enough, sassy Sasha drops out of the movie to avoid all the scandal, which the dirty little hypocrite brought on Hank to begin with! Runkle takes a reluctant Hank to see Eddie Nero, who wants to hang with the anti-hero to better portray him in the movie. (Rob Lowe does his best Brad Pitt circa 12 Monkeys.) When Becca gets into trouble for not paying at a tattoo parlor with the Queens of Dogtown, Nero pulls a gun, Hank punches him out, everyone has a laugh, and Nero commits himself to the movie. For her part, Marcy gets a house call for a full on bikini wax only to find out it’s producer Stu Beggs continuing to court her. Although she finds him rather repugnant, they bond over his vast film collection and watch Urban Cowboy in his screening room. Meanwhile, Karen visits Abby hoping to convince her to take Hank back. At the end of the night, Abby’s waiting for Hank in the hotel bar, they take it upstairs and Hank finally gets to spend the night with her.

Californication 4x05

Things miraculously start to improve for Hank Moody. Mia gave a testimony in court that so clearly exculpates him, her case is bound for a settlement. Hank feels so celebratory he invites his attorney Abby for a dinner date. The irony, of course, is that Hank is feverishly jealous just by the idea that someone may be flirting with Karen, but he can’t stop himself from trying to talk women into bed. His date gets interrupted by a text message from Karen that Becca has her first show (opening for Zakk Wylde’s Black Label Society) with the Queens of Dogtown. Awkwardness ensues when handsome Ben happens to be there, too. Well, his daughter (Zoë Kravitz) is the band’s lead singer. Meanwhile Marcy is still freaking out not knowing who’s the father of her baby, but sure it can’t be Charlie’s. For his part, Runkle is manscaping his stuff – although his head is bald, downunder he’s got bush – and accidentally cuts himself. He forces Marcy to take him to the hospital where he gets the same sarcastic doctor who treated Hank after he OD’ed. Turns out Charlie had his vasectomy done by some quack who recently had his license revoked. So, Marcy may very well be pregnant with Runkle’s child! Hank is upset that he didn’t get to sleep with Abby, and even more hurt that handsome Ben is hitting on the love of his life, that he goes back to his hotel room to get drunk. Then Sasha knocks on his door. She’s been hanging out with Mia, who’s now sitting on the ledge of her balcony contemplating to jump. It’s a nice scene how Hank talks her out of it, first by identifying with her – he too would like to end the pain – but then convincing her they should forgive themselves. He should talk: he’s a fuck up with a capital F U!

Californication 4x04

Hank has finished the script for the movie adaption of his novel, and Runkle is so excited he could pleasure himself. They have a meet and greet with Stu and Zig (resp. the producer and a potential investor). Things start to go from weird and wonderful to bizarre and brutal when Zig invites them to his mansion for a reading of some scenes. Zig, too, gets overly excited and starts to give a face ride to one of his sister-wives – and then excuses himself as the sister-wives continue making out on the couch. Hank and Stu are too high, but Runkle gladly takes one of the sisters for a ride – except that she is distracted by Zig’s pet monkey. When it starts throwing its feces, Runkle tries hitting it, gets bitten, tries to shake the monkey off his arm and kills it as it flies through the room. The sister shrieks hysterically and accuses him of murder. Although Stu has a serious case of the giggles, he demands that Runkle apologizes to Zig to save the deal. Hank finds the investor hanging on the bathroom door: death by auto-erotic asphyxiation. Not much later Runkle gets tased by a police officer, Hank punches him out. Hank then hits on his attorney who agrees to handle the mess and keep it out of the tabloids. None of this phases Hank one bit, but when he drops off Runkle he spots Karen flirting with another man. That hurts Hank every which way.

Californication 4x03

Hank wakes up in the hospital after OD-ing. The youngish doctor gives him a hilarious antithesis of a lecture. Then Karen walks in. I love that woman, and feel Hank’s pain. What a beautiful moment! She takes him home, lets him sleep in her bed, and admits she was scared witless when she thought he would die. How she makes me cry. Honestly! (The Cricket’s a sucker for romance.) For his part Runkle has to speed Hank up on getting the script ready. Producer Stu Beggs is practically stalking Runkle for it. Stu’s also hitting hard on Marcy – and can you blame him? In return he offers Runkle one hell of a hottie, in the shapely person of his development girl, sweet Heather (Camille Chen). When Hank finally has a moment alone with Becca, he confesses he didn’t give up on her, he didn’t try to kill himself, he merely screwed up – as always. When Karen hears that, she gives up on him all over again, and throws him out. The hurt and anger finally stirs him to rent a room, sit down, and start the script. Will he be able to become the man that Karen can love again? Will he get his life in some sort of order? Don’t get your hopes up too high...

Dexter 5x12

This is the Big One in more than one way! Dexter desperately needs to save Lumen from the clutches of Jordan Chase. But his family surprises him by returning to Miami because they want to celebrate Harrison’s first birthday together. Astor and Cody also ask if they can stay with Dexter for the summer. He excuses himself saying he has pressing work at the office. The Miami Homicide gets called to a murder scene, that of Liddy. While Dexter has to investigate his own crime scene, Quinn becomes flustered and is caught with blood on his shoe. After killing Emily, Chase for his part is taking Lumen to the summer camp where it all began years ago. At a traffic light, a street vendor hears the noise of Lumen kicking in his trunk and informs the police. Meanwhile, Deb was looking into Chase’s real estate properties – even on his old name Eugene Greer. Dexter gets to the summer camp first, but in his anxiousness to safe Lumen gets into an accident toppling his car. Chase captures him, but Dex is soon able to nail him to the cabin floor with one of his knives.

Dex and Lumen prepare their kill room – and even on his deathbed Chase is unrelentingly evil. It’s a relief when Lumen finally strikes the blow. She’s at once excited and overwhelmed now that it is all over. Before they can remove Chase’s body, Deb has followed the few clues she has and arrives on the scene. She knows her vigilante is behind a matted plastic sheet, and notices a second person. Her theory was right. Vindicated in her instinct, she speaks to them through the sheet, while Dex and Lumen hold their breath petrified. Not knowing who they are, she congratulates them for ridding the world of the men who physically and sexually abused the Barrel Girls, then lets them go, before calling Miami Metro PD. As expected, though, now that her mission is completed, Lumen feels she can no longer stay with Dexter. She appreciates what he has been doing, but she can’t be his serial killing partner. So, alas, Lumen leaves him. The finale ends with Harrison’s first birthday party – Dexter blowing out the single candle while looking ominously at us. His Dark Passenger is still with him.

You may know I’m a stickler for details, with an obsession for chronology. So, pardon me for being a spoilsport. When Dexter married Rita (season 3 finale) it was December 1st, 2008, and she was supposedly about three months pregnant. Harrison must have been born according to human logic late in May or early in June (making him a Gemini – for you astrology fiends). Yet in the beginning of this season Harrison is said to be ten months old – even though the first couple of episodes take place in the few days after Rita was brutally murdered by the “Trinity Killer” on December 5th, 2009 (season 4 finale). Incidentally, it’s interesting that in neither finale we see any Christmas decorations! To make matters worse, eleven days after Rita’s death Masuka quips “It’s twenty-ten, who smokes?” In this finale it’s Harrison’s Big One, and we’re back in the (early) summer, 2010. It seems the writers can’t keep their timeframe straight!

There are a few other points of criticism. Can it really be that Deb didn’t notice Dexter’s car wreck near the camp – and that he was able to get it towed before the full police team arrived on the scene? It was a little convenient, too, that Dex let Quinn off the hook about Liddy’s blood on his shoe – especially since Quinn has been pursuing him for half a year for Rita’s death. The Machete Murders was a big case that somehow fizzled out. What happened to the other Fuentes brother who didn’t get shot? And what happened to Cira Manzon, the officer who teamed up with Debra in the case? She got promoted when Deb was suspended, and disappeared without a trace when Deb returned. Then there was the marital friction between Angel and LaGuerta, about which we heard next to nothing in the past few episode until they returned to it at Harrison’s party. I also expected a little more from the Irish nanny. If you have such a stellar actress as Maria Kennedy Doyle, why not take advantage? These are minor complaints, of course, that detract little from the fact that Dexter is one of the best shows on TV. Thanks to all who recommended the Cricket to watch it!

Californication 4x02

Hank is out on bail for the second time in a week. Bunking on the Runkles’ couch wasn’t too comfortable. So he crept into bed next to Marcy. Hilarious! The old opening credits are back, though. Karen still doesn’t want to talk to him. His lawyer lady Abby admits she gets off on cases like his. Marcy has a little talk with Karen so Hank can finally see his daughter. But Becca isn’t so happy to see her father either. Having screwed up so bad he can’t fix his relationship with the two loves of his life, Hank is too depressed to think about the movie adaptation of his novel. Still, Charlie introduces him to Eddie Nero (Rob Lowe) who would like to play Hank in the movie. He puts on a compelling performance that charms Hank, though he hates him, and scares Charlie, though he loves him. Nero toasts to hard cocks and handsome man. Hank visits Sasha again in her room, but they’re interrupted by Nero. Hank returns to the Runkles, popping too many pills and drinking too much booze. He types a letter to Becca and passes out. He OD’ed.

Yes, I understand that Moody broke the law when he slept with Mia. But, seriously, Cricketeers, what’s the big deal? She set him up – twice! It’s not as if a guy is going to ask to see a girl’s ID when she looks twenty-five. Did you see her boobs? Mia did not look like a sixteen-year old. She seduced him, punched his lights out, stole his manuscript and published it under her own name. This is the show’s set up from the start. Of course, it didn’t make anything better that Mia was the daughter of Karen’s boyfriend. He should have come clean, though, rather than sticking his head in the sand and hoping it would all go away. His life has been unraveling ever since. Now Hank has reached the point of no return. His career is looking up. He’s recognized as the author of Mia’s novel and production is about to start on the story’s adaptation. But his personal life is in shambles. He’s lost the two loves of his life, Karen and Becca. Will things be different this season? Will he get his life back on track? Will he win back his daughter? Will Karen move on? And most of all, will the Mia situation finally blow over?

Dexter 5x11

The end of the season is approaching ever so near! This season has been unbelievably good. Five seasons ago the Cricket was reluctant to even watch a show about a serial killer. Gradually we’ve gotten to sympathize with him. And now we get to see Dexter through Lumen’s eyes. She doesn’t see him as a monster at all. He’s her partner, helping her take down the men who raped and tortured her. Boyd Fowler has disappeared off the face of the earth, so did Cole Harman, and now Alex Tildon, too. “What’s the connection,” Deb asks Jordan Chase, with Quinn in tow. “What did they have in common?” She continues. “You. They had you in common.” Chase remains indignantly unmoved. At the office, Deb explains her “vigilante theory” that one of the barrel girls escaped and has been taking down the perverted perpetrators who abused and violated all these girls. Masuka confirms that the living room in the empty house next to Tildon’s was so spotless it must have been recently swiped clean. Meanwhile, Deb and Quinn learn Chase’s real name, Eugene Greer. Batista found evidence that ties Chase to Tildon. Now every one of the perps can be traced back to Chase, and they have proof that he has been lying. They’re closing in but all remains circumstantial.

For their part Dex and Lumen plot to take down Chase, like a loving couple plans seats for their wedding. They’re deciding on whether to use her or Deb as bait to lure Chase. Then suddenly the baby monitor picks up a signal from Liddy’s camera. Dex suspects it’s Chase watching them, but there are too many vans, RVs and trucks around. He could be anywhere. Liddy’s been permanently discharged from police service. So he cannot make a move against Dexter, but threatens Quinn he best come running when he calls. Dex finds the camera and to his shock discovers it is property of Miami Metro Police. He learns that the bugging devices were checked out on Quinn’s name, with a case number dating to 1982, and without a permit to bug his house.

There’s an amazingly beautiful scene between Deb and Dex, where she confesses about Quinn’s theory that Dex is somehow connected to Rita’s death. She broke up with him because she cannot trust him. Then she starts ruminating about her “vigilante theory,” how the barrel girl must have someone close to her help her killing these perps. She finds it loving, even if it’s messed up. Only we and Dex are in on the fact that Deb is looking right at that man. And for his part Dex is realizing he must be in love with Lumen. They really are adorable together, holding hands, and teaming up as serial killers. I don’t want Lumen to ever leave Dex. But what will happen once Lumen is done meeting out her vigilante justice, once she has killed all her abusers? And will they get to Chase before he gets to them?

In fact, Chase books a tour through Europe to give his motivational speeches, an indication he’s hoping to get away from under police scrutiny. So they need a court order to demand him in as a material witness. It gets denied when Deb puts it in herself, but LaGuerta requests another with a judge who owed her a favor – and thus she teaches Deb a little lesson about office politics. Checking on the one remaining van that hasn’t moved in a week in front of Dex’ condo, he gets tased and kidnapped by Liddy. Right then Chase lures Dex and Lumen by having Emily Birch, the only girl he let live, call Lumen to beg for help. With Dex out of reach, Lumen goes on her own, terrified when she finds Chase there. Dex is able to overpower Liddy and kills him, with Quinn standing right outside the blinded van – and Liddy’s blood dripping on his boot. Chase is enraged that Lumen didn’t bring Dexter, and vents his anger on Emily, who he kills in two blows with a poker. When Dex finally arrives, Emily’s house is empty. Evidence of a fight everywhere. Oh, boy, the finale is going to be big, I mean, BIG!

Californication 4x01

For X-Mas the Cricket got two leaked episodes of the new Californication season! Did you miss Hank Moody? Of course you did! We get all new opening credits with a new tune as well. Hank just got out of jail. His buddy Charlie has been instructed by his soon-to-be ex-wife Marcy not to bring Hank to the love of his life, Karen. She doesn’t want to see him. Word got out that the novel, Fucking and Punching, Mia stole from him and published under her own name was in fact written by him. When he finally gets home, Karen slams the door in his face. Hank and Charlie visit an attorney (Carla Gugino who plays Amanda Daniels on Entourage) and puts himself at her disposal. Then he has a run in with Sasha Bingham (hot newcomer Addison Timlin), who introduces herself as Mia and tells him she is definitely not going to sleep with him. Actually, she’s going to star in the movie adaptation of Hank’s novel – even showing her beautiful boobs to prove the point she has no qualms about gratuitous nudity. Charlie Runkle gets his old job back on the condition that Hank rewrites the script himself. After a long day, Charlie takes Hank to Sasha, so that they can talk about the script, and he can crash on her couch. She’s in shirt and panties in her hotel room. And as “Sympathy for the Devil” plays on the soundtrack, they have sex. While she’s atop of him, she practices the punch Mia gave him back in the beginning. Hank’s arraignment is the morning after. Good news is the assault charges have been dropped. The bad news? He’s accused of statutory rape.

Dexter 5x10

Dexter now knows that Jordan Chase is on to them. So, to get him out of harm’s way, he asks Sonya to take baby Harrisons to his grandparents in Orlando and spend time with his brother and sister. And to protect Lumen, he takes her out of the house to his condo. Unfortunately, that shitty Liddy is still tailing them, despite Quinn’s violent demand to stay away. At Miami Metro Deb’s discovery of partial DNA’s has forced LaGuerta to reopen the barrel girls case. Jordan Chase isn’t among the suspects, but he is wanted for questioning – and so is Cole, who is of course already buried at sea. Naturally, Chase pretends he is insulted by the insinuations hurled at his direction and refuses further co-operation without his lawyer present. Meanwhile, Dex and Lumen pay a visit to Emily Birch, whose blood Chase keeps in a vial around his neck, but she shuts the door on them. When they get a search warrant for Cole’s house not only do they find blood (remains of his skirmish with Dex and Lumen), they also find thirteen numbered discs worth of torture-rape footage. The last one must be Lumen. Now Dexter has to stage a clumsy accident to switch her disc when Masuka isn’t paying attention. Lumen’s taken aback how much Dex is willing to risk his life and career for her.

Later Deb tells Dex that watching those (other) discs made her think maybe it was for the best these women died, because she believes no one could ever have a life again after going through that torture. She has been through some horrible experiences herself, from which she’s come back. Deb, wicked smart as she is, has already been able to connect the case with the plastic-wrap murder, figuring (correctly) that someone has been taking out the perpetrators – and she reckons there’s some kind of vigilante out there who knows what these morbid perverts have been up to, someone she feels is like her. She just doesn’t know how right she is. Then Lumen visits Emily again and confronts her with the footage of her own abuse and asks if it has also happened to her. She admits that twenty years ago at summer camp the same group raped and tortured her, but Jordan Chase was still called Eugene Greer. Emily also remembers the name of the fifth member of the group, Alex Tildon. Lumen tells Dex she wants to be the one killing Tildon. When Deb and Quinn go down the list of Cole’s acquaintances found on his computer, they also talk to Tildon, who confirms that he knows him, but denies knowing any of the other names associated with the case. Liddy forges Quinn’s signature to get recording devices – and with it he sits outside of Dex’ condo listening in on their conversations and watching their every move from inside his van. The most disturbing scenes this episode is when Chase talks to Emily, who explains she told Lumen everything – and he sits there like a king on his throne, telling her no one can replace her, that they have a bond, that she is special to him, and that she made him who he is now.

As Dex is preparing his killing tools, Lumen lights up, “look at those,” as if she’s looking at a case of jewelry at Tiffany’s. That’s when Liddy finally catches on from inside his van. Tildon calls Chase asking if he should leave town for a while, but Chase tells him to stick to his usual routines to the letter so as not to cause any suspicion – knowing full well that Dex and Lumen will be waiting for him at his house. Then he calls Deb, pretending that Tildon had called his secretary asking about Cole in a panic. So, right when Dex and Lumen are in the kill room, Deb and Quinn are driving up to Tildon’s house. The tension is unbearable! Will they be able to get away at close call? Deb and Quinn search Tildon’s house and find nothing. The kill room is at the empty house next door! Lumen strikes the blade at Tildon’s heart and gasps for air. It’s therapeutic. Outside, Deb notices a partial footprint, it’s small, Quinn figures it’s female, and Deb concludes (again correctly) that the vigilante must be the group’s last victim meting out her own brand of justice. But by that time Dex and Lumen have returned to his condo, where they commence to make love. Did Liddy follow them to Tildon’s house? We won’t know until next time. What an unbelievable show!

Dexter 5x09

Dexter and Lumen disposed Suit Guy Cole together out at sea. Unbeknownst to them, they were followed by shitty Liddy, who has been keeping tabs on them even though Quinn was getting wary about spying on Dexter while he’s dating Debra. Eager to share the latest about Dex, Liddy keeps bugging Quinn, but Quinn is getting too involved with Deb. She also finds out that Quinn suspected Dexter of assuming the name “Kyle Butler” to associate with the Trinity Killer and may know something about Rita’s brutal murder. Deb is livid and hurt, no matter her burgeoning feelings for Quinn, no one touches her brother. Meanwhile, Dexter is in for a shock when suddenly Astor breaks into their old house – the one where Lumen is staying. Astor ran away from Orlando with her friend Olivia, they stole money and got drunk. Lumen was petrified fearing that someone was coming after them. Astor is upset that Dexter found a new girlfriend so soon after Rita’s death. Dexter assures her Lumen is just a tenant, but it’s clear they know each other better than that.

Then the girls go missing, Dex recruits the entire police force, it seems, fearing that somehow Jordan Chase is honing in on him for the murder of Cole. They find the girls arrested for shoplifting, Olivia’s stepfather came rushing on the scene acting a tad too overbearing. It’s clear something isn’t right. Back at Dex’ house, Deb is surprised to find her brother has a new, hot blonde girlfriend, or tenant, whichever; and Lumen is surprised to find Dex has a sister. Dex isn’t very successful trying to talk to Astor about her behavior, but Lumen discovers Olivia is covered in bruises from her stepfather. Dex gives the guy a few punches of his own and forces him to disappear, break up with Olivia’s mother and never come near them again. Astor is happy to find that Dex backed her up, and he is proud that she stood up for her friend. When he drops them off in Orlando, they share a beautiful moment talking about Rita. Dexter isn’t a monster after all. He isn’t just acting on primal instincts to kill and protect his nest. He is developing actual emotions and a talent for empathizing with others. It’s fair to say this is a pivotal moment.

At Miami Metro Homicide, Deb is still on suspension, but is stuck in the file room until her hearing. Batista backed up her story – against LaGuerta’s version of events. In the archive Deb happens upon the recently closed files of the barrel girls case. She can’t help going through the details one more time, and notices that the DNA report indicates there were at least three male perpetrators involved. They had been so focused on Boyd Fowler, that they closed the case before the DNA report came in. She shares the information with Masuka and Batista, find a partial match with Cole’s DNA, but no one wants to step up to LaGuerta and get the case re-opened. She overhears their conversation, but is reluctant to agree. She just cleared the air of the shooting at Club Maya and she doesn’t want another storm in the media about the incapability of their department. Deb, naturally, argues that this isn’t about the department, but about the deaths of a dozen girls and several perpetrators still on the loose. In the end, LaGuerta caves in.

For his part, Dexter is also trying to find a way to take on Jordan Chase. He scheduled private sessions with him, hoping to get some foot in the door and check out his security. He learns that Chase is keeping a little vial of blood as a necklace. He nips a pinch of the blood with a syringe, when Chase is taking a shower, but carelessly leaves the locker door ajar, and when Chase puts the necklace back on, he notices a little drop of blood on his finger. He knows Dexter is after him. When Dexter has the blood tested for DNA, it turns out the vial is not some kind of trophy of one of their victims: the woman is still alive. Later Chase calls Dexter’s home phone and gets Lumen on the phone. He leaves a message for Dexter, “Tick, tick, tick, that’s the sound of your life running out.” You can cut the tension with a knife. Lumen is nearly hyperventilating. Before he hangs up, Chase says, “Goodbye, Lumen.” This was yet another wonderful episode, full of excitement, human drama and emotional depth.

Dexter 5x08

This episode defied all my expectations – and after four and a half amazing seasons of unexpected twists and turns, that says a lot. At Miami Homicide the fallout from the stakeout at the club is seriously putting everyone on edge. Debra blames LaGuerta and Batista doesn’t know if he should back up his wife or include in his report that Deb was overruled. LaGuerta calls Deb into her office and suggests putting Officer Monzon on suspension, but Deb won’t let her make Cira be the fall guy. She argues and curses, all for the sake of the team. She’s not prone to keeping her mouth, but this is spellbinding. What a woman! Debra’s my girl. She’s an ace. Then, what does scheming careerist LaGuerta do? She throws Deb on paid leave – and to add insult to injury, Deb has to learn about it on TV! (Seems to the Cricket LaGuerta is becoming less likeable. What is this story arc leading up to? Will she be promoted Captain or will she be held responsible for the mess and fired? Will Batista divorce her?) In the end Batista sides with Debra and will write up his report in her support. Always the good guy, this Angel. Dex and Deb have a moment reflecting on life and death, how she doesn’t feel any regret or guilt for killing Carlos Fuentes, and how their father once told Dexter some people deserve to die. They’ve both recently lost loved ones, Rita and Lundy, who deserved to live. Maybe the world is better off without Carlos Fuentes, Deb reasons. Dex just nods in approval, with a look of stunned recognition and validation on his face.

Meanwhile, Dexter decides to attend Jordan Chase’s motivational seminar at some Miami hotel. Excellent point when Dex’ voice-over admits he feels “normal” among Chase’s acolytes. Chase’s head of security, Cole, invites Dex to speak to Chase in private. Chase knows an awful lot about Dexter, about the Trinity Killer case, about Rita and Harrison. What a creepy sleazebag that Jordan Chase! (And what a marvelous performance by Johnny Lee Miller.) Dexter plans on taking out Cole at the hotel and asks Lumen to help him prepare the kill room. On her way to the hotel, this piece of shitty Liddy slams his car into Lumen’s on purpose, and pulls an act to get her info. He’s been keeping tabs on Deb and Lumen for Quinn – even though Quinn is getting increasingly wary about Liddy’s abrasiveness, not to mention his greediness or this threat to tell on Quinn to Deb. Lumen’s fiancé arrives on the scene, too, but she’s none too pleased seeing him.

Back at the hotel, Dex is pleasantly surprised seeing how much easier it all is with Lumen there, ready and willing to kill the torturing rapist Suit Guy Cole. She starts to understand that Dexter is a serial killer, he confides in her, and she accepts him for it. He never had a partner in crime like this before. She’s not like power-hungry Miguel Prado or psychopathic Lila Tournay West. They hear screaming coming from Cole’s room, but it turns out to be merely the sounds of aggressive sex. Still, the noise throws Lumen back to her traumatic experience. Dex comforts her quietly and allows her to sleep, putting off the planned kill. They have one more day to catch Cole before Chase leaves Miami. During the day’s seminar session, Dex gets called on stage to recount the loss of Rita, while Chase encourages him to act on his primal instinct. For his part Cole spots Lumen in the hotel, chases her to the room and attacks her. Dexter comes to the rescue and together they perform his ritual. While Lumen (unseen) pulls up the SUV in front of the hotel and Dex walks out with Cole’s dismembered body in his luggage, Chase approaches him – apologizing for the confrontational session on stage. “Tick, tick, tick,” the sleazebag tells Dexter, “that’s the sound of your life running out,” just like he said to Lumen when he was abusing her. Act on your primal instinct is his motivational motto. “Take It!” “Oh, I will,” Dex replies.

Dexter 5x07

It’s been over a month since Dexter killed Boyd Fowler. Lumen is still trapped in the trauma of her monstrous experience. He’s been allowing her to be part of the plan catching the remaining men who used and abused her. She tells him there were two more, whom she identifies as Watch Guy and Suit & Tie: the first would put his watch against his ear and say “tick, tick, tick, that’s the sound of your life running out”; the other would fold his suit very carefully and lay it on a chair, he’d always take her blindfold off, thinking she’d be dead soon. Next we see Suit Guy (Chris Vance), neatly folding his jacket, while paying some Mexicans to drag the barrels from the lake onto a pick-up truck. Then, with his truck loaded up with barrels filled with dead women in formaldehyde, he drives off toward the highway – and BAM! Another car crashes into the truck sideways. Excellent! The whole Miami Homicide team gets called in. The press is already on site. Meanwhile that shitty Stan Liddy has been trailing Dexter and learned there’s a pretty blonde girl staying at his old house – even took down the “For Sale” sign. Quinn spots Dexter talking to Lumen near the crime scene and puts two and two together.

Suit Guy turns out to be the head of security of none than Jordan Chase (John Lee Miller), a well-known motivational speaker, famous for his “Take It” instructional CDs. Boyd Fowler used to listen to all his CDs. So does Masuka. The truck was registered on Chase’s name. With Suit Guy in tow, Chase arrives at the police station. He is wearing a fancy watch. He must be Watch Guy. He gives his alibi, which checks out, while security guy Cole makes up a story that someone must have stolen their truck – although the key was still in ignition. Masuka’s forensics tell that all the evidence points to Cole, but if Dexter wants to help Lumen kill the men who held her hostage, raped and tortured her, they must derail the police investigation. So he suggests they give the police Boyd Fowler, since he was the man who killed the young women. They raid Boyd’s house and find the torture room (neatly cleaned by Dex and Lumen before). Boyd immediately becomes their primary focus of investigation.

As for the Santa Muerte machete murder case, the whole team is brought in to sting Club Maya, where Deb has learned the Fuentes brothers often hang out in the VIP lounge. Their bait Jasmine has arranged for the brothers to come. From the start LaGuerta disagrees with Deb how to set up the stake out. The Captain is up her case to get it right this time. Nevertheless, things run afoul pretty bad. When Cira Monzon approaches the guys, one of them notices her gun while feeling up her leg. The other shoots Jasmine. Then Cira gets a gun up her face and Deb has to choose whether to let him go yet again or shoot him on the spot. Her bullet hits him right in the forehead. Bull’s Eye! An innocent bystander got killed, too, though, and three were wounded. The Captain is furious. LaGuerta refuses to take responsibility for the mess, even though it was on her orders (overruling Debra) that Cira approached the Fuentes brothers. Needless to say, this was another exciting episode.

Dexter 5x06

Midway through the season and the plotlines are starting to converge in unforeseeable ways. Miami Homicide is following Deb’s lead on the Santa Muerte machete murders. They’ve organized a stake out at the club frequented by the Fuentes brothers. This despite the Captain’s warning he isn’t pleased with their lack of progress. Batista is teasing Deb how many girls approach Quinn at the bar. She’s doing her best to hide her jealousy. For his part, Dex is trying to bring back some normalcy into his life – and prepares his next kill: another perverted serial killer (of which there seems ample supply in his neck of the woods). When he is leaving his condo, his Irish superwoman nanny tells Harrison to say “bye-bye, daddy,” and the little kid says “dye-dye.” “He said ‘die, die!’” Dex responds shocked. “Don’t be silly,” she retorts, “He said ‘bye-bye.’ Harrison’s first words!” Just when he is about to start his ritual kill, Lumen calls repeatedly. She never left Miami – and now she’s shot one of the men who raped her (or so she claims). She doesn’t know what to do. He hurries to Lumen at some bayside warehouse, with a victim of his own in his car. When he arrives, she’s anxious and confused. She cannot really tell this is the man who raped her, she just knows, even though she was blindfolded the whole time she was abused, but she feels she’s right, he smells the same. But now the man is gone!

They have to follow the trail of his blood, revealing how much Dex knows about blood and what kind of gadgets he carries with him in his bag. The man is losing so much blood he can’t be far. They soon enough find him and he denies ever seeing Lumen before. Then Dex gets a message on his cell of a reported homicide – at the very same warehouse. Someone must have heard the gun shots. Dexter and Lumen keep arguing. He doesn’t trust her instinct. Then they overhear him talking on Lumen’s cell phone: “She shot me! That last fucking bitch is alive!” Lumen was right all along, and now the others are warned. With one guy wrapped in plastic foil coming to in his car and another body at the warehouse, Dexter has to take care of both situations at once, while Deb and Masuka are already following the trail of blood. And if that isn’t enough, Dex needs to argue with Lumen to make sure she leaves – and then the first guy breaks out of Dex’ SUV. Only in the nick of time is he able to catch the guy, run back to the dead body, dump the other body on the scene with Lumen’s gun, and pretend he found them before his sister did. Amazing! “Two words,” Masuka intones, “auto-erotic mummification.” “What a night!” Deb exclaims. This was sure one heck of an exciting episode. What a terrific plot development! I’m a little more reticent about Deb’s continuing dalliance with Quinn, or the marital troubles between Batista and LaGuerta, not to mention Quinn’s persistence to investigate Dexter with the help of his suspended colleague Stan Liddy.

Dexter 5x05

“We all have something to hide,” Dexter intones. That’s one of the show’s premises from which it draws its attraction. In some way we all are a little bit like Dexter, hiding in plain sight “some dark place we don’t want the world to see.” That is something he shares with Lumen – and they both are victims of terrible circumstances that have happened to them. She tells him there were others, not just Boyd and she wants Dex to help her kill them. Having no clue as to who these accomplices might have been he pays a visit to Boyd’s house. He finds someone else has ransacked it already, leaving blood as he cut himself smashing the window – and finger prints. When he checks the prints in the database, they match with none other than Lumen herself. She beat Dexter to it. Next he breaks into her motel room and finds she’s been keeping tabs on Boyd’s former cell mate due for parole, one Robert Brunner, who did time for rape and torture. Dex worries she might try and kill him on her own. He finds the guy under the Julia Tuttle Causeway (a sex offender colony), tranquilizes him and prepares to kill him. Then he realizes Brunner is wearing an ankle bracelet monitoring his whereabouts. He could not have been involved in abusing Lumen.

Meanwhile, Deb and Sierra are trying their might to get any leads on the Santa Muerte machete murders. They learn that one of the Fuentes brothers has an eye tattoo on his hand. There’s a great scene with Deb and Mazuka in a tattoo parlor. You just got to see it. When Sierra checks ATM footage, she realizes the victims were all freaking out while withdrawing maximum amounts from their accounts. It gives them another clue, which brings them to a home where they discover two maggot-infested decomposing bodies. It’s too gross to watch. Imagine the stench! I’m not too keen on Deb and Quinn becoming friends with benefits. Her penchant for the wrong types is getting painfully obvious. Moreover, Quinn has recruited a suspended colleague, Stan Liddy (Peter Weller) to keep tabs on Dexter. Then there’s the growing suspicion between LaGuerta and Batista. She is working hard to get the Internal Affairs charges dropped, but he worries she is having internal affairs of a different kind. For her part, Lumen goes looking for Brunner under Tuttle Bridge intending to kill him on the spot. Dex stops her in the nick of time. He then convinces her to return home to Minnesota and even got her a plane ticket. Yet when she is searched at airport security she panics and hails a cab back to Miami.