In Treatment 3x05

Sunil returns for his second session. He dislikes being referred to as a patient; some kids spoiled soda over his vest; his son and daughter-in-law forced him to take a shower; and recently he’s been having this ache. Sunil is grumpy, but he has a sweet sense of humor. When Paul asks him about the ache, he jokes it must be the same ache his son hopes Paul can release him of. Soon enough Sunil is questioning the method of therapy in which only one side engages in the conversation. He feels he cannot be expected to share intimate details of his life, if the other party of the conversation barely says a word. Paul criticizes Sunil for putting his own complaints and grievances into other people’s mouth, for projecting his own frustrations onto others. Sunil jokes that now he regrets asking Paul to speak more, and he voices his frustration over the poor quality of tea in New York. They continue their cat and mouse game, Paul keeps asking probing questions and Sunil keeps dodging them. When their time is up, Sunil seems insulted as if Paul is throwing him out. From our Western perspective it is clear that Sunil has been bottling up resentments for years, but he is resigned there is nothing that can be changed about his life. It poses a great challenge for Paul to break through such barriers. For both parties this must not have felt as a productive session. Still, Sunil somewhere somehow seems to appreciate his sessions. So there’s hope that he can learn to become more assertive.

Fright Nights

Over the summer the Cricket spent a couple of nights with the kids watching some of the most atrocious horror garbage you should save yourself from even getting anywhere near to. They were that bad. So that you won’t make the same mistake, here we go. From the premise, you’d think Catacombs (2007) has the perfect setting for a Slayer video: subterranean cemetery below the streets of Paris: the realm of darkness underneath the City of Light. This empire of the dead is the last resting place of millions of skulls and bones, often artfully arranged in a labyrinthine structure of chambers and corridors some sixty feet underground. It is in this morbid maze that an unsuspecting naïf (Shannyn Sossamon) gets drawn by her abrasive sister (P!nk). I can already hear your eyes roll... The Second Act consists entirely of the girl running in the darkness to evade the clutches of some evil serial killer... No Third Act can make up for that, but this ending stank so bad, I won’t even begin to tell you. Awful!

Next, we have Buried Alive (2007) – even the title is a rip off. Here we’re dealing with some family curse and ghostly apparitions. The film is plagued by common horror tropes: college initiation insanity, gratuitous nudity, inexplicable acts of random violence, a curious family history, a road trip to a remote cabin, a frightfully misanthropic caretaker who enjoys stuffing dead animals, dysfunctional mobile phones, flying axes, power failures, sabotaged cars, and after everyone else is slaughtered, the two remaining teenagers are, of course, buried alive... yawn... I needn’t say more.

Lastly there’s The Ruins (2008), another stinker of a movie. Here we join two American teenage couples with some recent friends to the ruins of a Mayan temple in the remote Mexican jungle. Angry villagers kill off one of them fast. Atop the ruin their cell phones have no signal, but they can distinctly hear a cell phone ringing down the mineshaft. Naturally, as one of them is lowered down, he has a fall and breaks his back. They are able to get him out, but then next morning the vines that cover the ruin have eaten into the guy’s leg. Desperate to get to the cell phone in the shaft, the two girls go back down, only to find the dead body of the cell phone’s owner – and to learn it’s not the phone they hear ringing, put the vines! (?!?) You get the picture. They all die, but for one, who in the alternate ending still has vines crawling inside her. Yuck!

Dexter 5x04

So much is already happening this season on Dexter! Det. Quinn is hot on Dex’ trail, suspecting him of using the alias “Kyle Butler” to get closer to the Mitchells, obviously not knowing at all why. Even when the FBI refuses to grant him access to the family, Quinn is resilient and persistent enough to find their safe house. It does mean he’s missing on the job a lot. At an unguarded moment, Quinn approaches Jonah and shows him a photo of Dex. Before Jonah can say anything, Quinn gets arrested. Lt. LaGuerta is furious and sends him on unpaid suspension. Sgt. Batista might lose his job and serve time for assaulting a fellow police officer. Maria encourages him to make amends with Sgt. Lopez. She tells him she isn’t asking. Lopez accepts Batista’s apologies, but it is not enough for Internal Affairs to halt the investigation. Deb, Vince Masuka and Cira Monzon pulled an all-nighter at the crime scene, but they really need Dexter’s help. He leads them to a clue, which gives them a partial finger print on a cigar butt. That leads them to the Fuentes brothers. When they raid their crowded apartment, one of the brothers slices a hostage’s throat with his machete and takes a run for it.

Most importantly, though, after he performed his latest ritual kill, Dexter is left with a feral woman (Julia Stiles). He won’t and can’t kill her. She’s innocent. But she saw what he did to road-kill pickup artist Boyd Fowler. The moment she comes to, he injects another needle to sedate her again. While trying to find out more about her, his nanny Sonya quits. He was gone the whole night, never called, she can’t trust him. Dex has to take Harrison to the office while checking the girl’s finger prints. Her name is Lumen Pierce; she’s from Minnesota. But when she comes to later, she says her name is Rachel. Although he can’t kill her, he can’t just let her go either. After all the abuse she’s been through, she rather dies than being locked up without knowing what Dexter is going to do to her. He still needs to find out more about her – and get his nanny back. He learns that Lumen has an unpaid motel bill and convinces the owner to give him her luggage. Having convinced Sonya to give him one more chance, he returns to Lumen, who’s slit her wrist. Well, it’s a ploy to escape, but Dex is able to catch her after a quick chase. Hoping to win her trust, he takes her to the lake where Boyd used to dump his victims. He explains that his own wife Rita was brutally murdered and he doesn’t want to see any more innocent people die. Lumen tells Dexter that Boyd wasn’t the only one, that there were others, that it’s not over.

Boardwalk Empire 1x01

This Fall HBO brought a new series to the American TV screens, Boardwalk Empire, about Prohibition Era Atlantic City, N.J. It is created by Terence Winter (The Sopranos), and co-produced with Martin Scorsese and Mark Wahlberg. It stars Steve Buscemi as Atlantic County’s corrupt treasurer and hypocrite politician Enoch “Nucky” Thompson (based on the historical kingpin Enoch Johnson), who pledges his heartfelt support to the suffragettes of the Temperance League, minutes before he swears to his fellow hotshots that even if Prohibition will turn the country dry, he will keep Atlantic City “as wet as a mermaid’s twat.” The décors are on gloriously grand operatic scale; we get arrogant Rolls-Royces and stately abodes, flirty flappers and blackface Dixie-land, comedy and cabaret, dirty dancing and midgets boxing, contraband dealings and moonshine bootleggers, dangerous gangsters in fabulous fashion plus humorless Federal Agents and their footsoldiers in the war against illegal liquor. It is January 1920 and Enoch Thompson fully intends to reap the benefits of the Prohibition, dealing in contraband and moonshine. Conveniently, Atlantic City’s sheriff is Nucky’s younger brother Eli. Thompson has invited high level gangsters from New York and Chicago to talk business. Meanwhile, Thompson’s protégé, Jimmy Darmody (Michael Pitt), has returned from the Great War with Gerry shrapnel in his leg and ambitions as dark as his experience in the trenches. Waiting outside the mobster convention, he happens upon one of Big Jim Colosimo’s low-level henchmen, Al Capone, who has ambitions to match Jimmy’s. Together they rob a shipment of whiskey off New York gangster Arnold Rothstein and kill several of his men, while they tipped off the Feds about Mickey Doyle’s bootlegging operation. From the looks of this pilot episode, the Cricket will be cheeping cheerfully about this show. Thanks Zory!

Becker - season two

Well, do you know Becker? It is one of the few sit-coms that actually makes me roll on the floor laughing out loud! No, seriously, I really roll on the floor. It is that funny. Why? Because Ted Danson’s character, doctor John Becker, is an ill-tempered, sarcastic misanthrope, just like me. His view on religion? “Just another dumb-ass system created by the tiny minded to deal with the complexities of human life, because rather than think for themselves, it’s easier to believe that our fate is controlled by some great apocalyptic voodoo monkey in the sky.” Hilarious! He runs a small practice in the Bronx, and despite his permanent exasperation, you quickly learn to respect him because he genuinely cares about his patents’ well-being – not to mention he is bluntly honesty.

In one of her rare moments of clarity, his vacuous assistant Linda quits. That’s when Becker and his office manager Margaret realize just how invaluable she is, because she is so good with the patients. Becker visits her to give her another chance – and we learn that she is living in a penthouse on Central Park, next to the Danish ambassador, and owns a genuine Monet. Her wealthy parents have long ago given up on her, but are willing to pay for her house to keep her out of trouble. The job at Becker’s office is the only thing that makes her feel good about herself. Then that sleazebag Bob is thrown out his mother’s retirement home and needs a place to stay. Linda offers. Margaret tries to warn her. Help the needy, Linda reminds her, and Bob is needy, very needy. “Isn’t that what Christianity is all about?” “Christ never met Bob,” Margaret retorts. Somehow Linda and Bob manage to make it work, but only God knows how.

But obviously the show is mostly about Becker. He has about as much charm as an uncouth bear. He usually barges into Reggie’s diner every morning complaining about some incident on the way from his home. When Reggie is wearing a stunning red dress, Becker’s kind of complement is, “You’re not exactly the worst looking woman in this place, but I’d rather go with that one over there.” But when he meets Reggie’s best friend Amanda who used to be a model like her, they have a brief affair. “Sex with a model!” his assistant Margaret scoffs in disbelief. Then Reggie’s dating this guy she doesn’t know is one of Becker’s patients – and he is giving him advice to prove indirectly that he knows women better than Reggie; and she falls for it (initially at least). Later, Reggie’s high school flame is back in town and she can’t wait to go out with him – until he ends up in jail and wants her to post bail. Then Becker gets a call from a friend of his best buddy in high school. They hit it off famously, having dinner, going to a game, drinking beer. He tells her she must be the perfect woman, but she has something to tell of her own: she is his high school buddy – except she had a sex change.

At one point Becker gets shot when picking up his blind friend Jake who got lost in Brooklyn. The doctor, Liz, at the hospital can’t stand him, but refuses to let him go home until he is fit to. Between the abrasive sarcasm, something grows between them. They are, in fact, just like each other: arrogant, opinionated control freaks, stubborn, infuriating pains in the ass, with nothing going on in their private lives. Once he’s released, she drops by to tell him how unpleasant it was having him as her patient, so much so she wanted to strangle him, but doesn’t entirely miss that feeling. He replies he never thought of her thinking of him that way, and that he noticed she was sort of intelligent and not unattractive. He invites her for dinner at his place, she tells him he didn’t have to go through all that trouble – and he tells her neither did she, “I mean, I didn’t expect you to look so good.” “This isn’t nearly as horrible as I thought it would be,” she tells him. Meanwhile, his neighbor across the hallway notices Reggie stopping by, Liz frequenting, the upstairs neighbor complaining she won’t just have sex when it’s convenient for him, the next door neighbor complaining he’s responsible for her crying baby, you know the lady is thinking he got prostitutes coming in all day. “You wanted to get to know me, this is me, you know,” he offers Liz. “I can’t pretend to be somebody else, just for the sake of a relationship.” She leans in to kiss him. “You must really be screwed up.” The relationship lasts for much of the second half of the season, until she gets a job offer in Chicago and he encourages her to go because it’s a great career opportunity – even though he will miss her. Please do yourself a favor and watch this show whichever way you can!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Cricket is Sexy too!

Season's Greetings & all that

xoxo

Modern Family 1x08

At the Dunphy residence it’s Phil and Clair’s wedding anniversary. Phil is stoked to cover Clair in presents, but Clair only got him self-made coupons for free hugs. She’s so embarrassed that she pretends the coupons were only the beginning. She manages to get some guy from Spandau Ballet (guest star Edward Norton) to perform for Phil at their home. “Phil loves Spandau Ballet. That song ‘True’ was playing in the car the first time we kissed. It’s our song,” Clair enthuses to the audience. “I never liked Spandau Ballet,” Phil confesses on the couch when his wife isn’t listening, “Our entire marriage, I never once mentioned Spandau Ballet. Am I even pronouncing that right?” Bonus point for Phil and penalty point for Clair. How can she not know what to get her husband?

Meanwhile Jay has his grandchildren over for a sleepover with all the usual family traditions. They have Sloppy Jays, “which is really Sloppy Joes, made by Jay,” and watch western movies. Pretty girl Haley obviously would rather spend the night with her boy Dylan at the party three blocks away. Jay has been there before with Clair, so he anticipates all her moves and even catches Dylan in the bushes. He loves westerns and rather skip the party. Poor Haley. For their part Mitchell and Cameron left Lily with Gloria, so they can have a night out with another adult, their wild friend Sal (guest star Elizabeth Banks). Sal’s all boobs and laughter all the time, until they mention Lily. She thinks they should kill her. Okay, I’ll admit, this one was worth a few chuckles.

In Treatment 3x04

The other day Paul spotted an advertisement for Gina Toll’s novel, Admissions. Until last year, she used to be his mentor and therapist, but he was always struggling to get from under her wings, while coming back for the mothering he did not receive as a boy. Now he is going to a different therapist, Adele Brouse, and he is carrying a copy of Gina’s book under his arm. He thinks he’s merely walking in to renew his Ambien prescription. But Adele is stern and curt, yet soft spoken. Paul gets uncomfortable fast and twice makes a comment about her age or lack of experience. He closes himself off, merely expecting her to fill out a prescription and let him go his way. But she indicates she is not going to do that so easily. He falls silent – and then starts talking about Frances and her dying sister. That’s when he finally tells her his father died of Parkinson’s, that his dreams have been trying to tell him to stop ignoring his symptoms (stiffness, dizziness, shaking hands), but he denies he is afraid. She confronts him with his resistance to open up, and questions his dependence on Gina (his teacher, his supervisor, his analyst and his marriage counselor). She notices the book and he admits he’s embarrassed. Then he finally opens up, although more about his patients than about himself. He confesses his frustration not making progress, to have a brief moment of connection – like when Jesse told him about the voice mail from his birth mother – only to see it implode on itself; or his feeling that he really cannot do anything to make situations better – like bring back Sunil’s wife. After she fills out the prescription, she points out that he has been talking about escape and entrapment, in relation to his patients, Gina, as well as Parkinson’s. She also wonders why he is still waking up from the same dream if he has realized several days ago what it was communicating to him. Before he leaves, Adele stresses that her door is always open for him. “What did you just say?” Paul responds stunned. The last time he saw Gina she told him that she was not going to tell him her door is always open for him.

Atheist

Your Music Cricket has tossed around the name Atheist a few times before. With their first new album out in seventeen years, this is a great opportunity to praise one of the most influential and interesting bands in progressive death metal. For fans of the genre Atheist needs no introduction, but for the rest of you, let’s dig in some history. Atheist belongs to the Florida scene, including Death and Cynic, that took cues from San Francisco Bay Area Thrashers Slayer, and combined it with the dexterous velocity of Tampa Bay bands like Morbid Angel and Deicide. Atheist further incorporated jazz and progressive elements to create a unique blend of aggressive riffs, syncopated time signature shifts, and incredibly inventive leads. Those leads and solos were courtesy of guitarist Rand Burkey, while the main riffs tended to come from Kelly Shaefer, who also offered hoarse shrieks – rather than the usual death grunts and growls. However, credit is also due to bassist Roger Patterson not only for his impressively complex rhythmic patterns, but also for inspiring many of the songs’ riffs. Among the founding members, in addition to Shaefer and Patterson, there’s drummer Steve Flynn to round up the swinging rhythm sections with more technical talent.

After several demos in the later ’80s, Atheist’s debut album, Piece of Time, was first released in Europe in 1989, and only half a year later in the U.S. With songs between no more than two-and-a-half to four-and-a-half minutes, Atheist here crams in a remarkable mass of shifts and turns, whirlwind riffs, and blistering solos. Lyrically there is more than just the standard metal fare of doom, death, destruction and damnation. Songs deal with the meaning of life and death, the transmigration of the soul, evangelist propaganda, political hypocrisy, and social commentary. Atheist took technical proficiency to an even higher level on their sophomore output, Unquestionable Presence (1991). Although the songs are on average barely half a minute longer, they were somehow able to include even more progressive, jazzy, and latin elements, more baffling riffs, more tempo changes and more time signatures. Unquestionably a classic presence in the progressive/technical death metal genre. Sadly, by the time of its release Roger Patterson had died in a touring bus accident eerily similar to the death of Metallica’s Cliff Burton.

The band returned with their most variegated album Elements (1993), with Tony Choy now performing bass guitar duties. A third guitarist, Frank Emmi, was brought in to share lead responsibilities with Burkey, while Flynn was replaced by Josh Greenbaum. The complex progressive, jazzy, and latin elements take yet greater pride of place on this effort, without losing too much in brutal aggression. Perhaps less intriguing or fitting are a few shorter, atmospheric interludes, and even a samba piece. To these ears the album would have done better without them. The mains tracks, about half a minute longer again than on the previous outing, though, remain personal favorites. Elements was written and recorded in just forty days to fulfill contractual obligations, after which Atheist disbanded. Tony Choy, meanwhile, performed with death metal acts Cynic and Pestilence, while Kelly Shaefer went on to form the more rock-oriented Neurotica. And that, fans had to accept, was it for Atheist.

Rumors of reunions started floating in the new millennium, getting more serious by 2005/6. Fans met the news no doubt with equal anticipation as trepidation – for the chance of disappointment was great. Shaefer, Burkey, Choy and Flynn did regroup for live performances, and after a few more years and some line-up changes later, Atheist released their first new album since 1993 earlier this month, entitled Jupiter. At the opening riff, the first things that comes to mind is tech-death/math-core acts like Ion Dissonance, or, dare I mention the name? The Dillinger Escape Plan. In hardly over half an hour, Jupiter nonetheless packs a terrific punch of ravaging riffs, swirling leads, and rhythmic madness that spells Atheist for the new millennium! By the second track you’ve already forgotten that this is a come-back album. The production is crisp and clean, and allows each instrument to breathe its asphyxiating last breath throughout. The lead parts, now courtesy of Chris Baker and Jonathan Thompson, remain as impressively progressive as before. Choy, alas, chose to give priority to his successful venture into latin pop, while Burkey was prevented from participating due to legal issues. At any rate, this Cricket is mighty pleased that Atheist is back in business!

Dexter 5x03

Dexter is dealing with an immense sense of grief and guilt over the loss of Rita. But there is more important business at hand. Dex and Deb are drilling candidates for a nanny position to look after Prince Harry (baby Harrison). Obviously they are going for the Irish woman, Sonya, with a nursing degree (Maria Doyle Kennedy). Dex’ crisis counselor tells him that Harrison will be fine – he’s too young to have processed what happened to Rita – and advices Dex to release his energy by doing something for himself. So he chats up Boyd Fowler, the sick serial killer he happened to stumble upon, introducing himself as “Daryl Tucker.” Before you know it Boyd offers him to ride along on his “dead animal pickup” job. He already prepares his kill-room. But, yikes, when Dexter wants to take Boyd out with his usual injection, Boyd accidentally shoots him with his tranquilizer gun before falling to the ground. They both come to in an ambulance and pretend it was an accident – only to get out of the hospital as fast as they can. Now they are after one another! Dex is ahead of the game and has already prepared a make-shift kill room in Boyd’s basement. But after he performs his ritual, he discovers a feral looking woman (Julia Stiles) trapped in the basement, who saw it all!

There is much tension at Miami Homicide. Det. Quinn received composite sketches of “Kyle Butler” which the Mitchells provided the FBI. None of the drawings looks the same, but Quinn’s smart enough to piece elements together. In one of his tries puzzling facial features together from different drawings, Vince Mazuka quips it looks like Justin Bieber. Quinn calls the FBI requesting a meeting with the Mitchells. He tells them he has a hunch, but it may cost him his job if he’s wrong. For his part, Quinn is also still unsure how to handle Deb after their “little indiscretion” on the kitchen floor in Dexter’s old home. Even though she is crashing on his couch to give Dex some space, Deb brushes him off with her usual impatience. Sgt. Batista is under investigation for assaulting a fellow officer who bad-mouthed his wife Lt. LaGuerta. Meanwhile Miami Homicide is looking into the Santa Muerte machete murder. Quinn just opts for the easy solution: husband killed wife, then shot himself. Deb believes there is more to it, especially because of all the religious attributes. Her Spanish is so poor, she pronounces it “Santa Mierda.” Reluctantly she teams up with Cira, the local Hispanic police officer who lived all her life in the Venezuelan neighborhood where the woman’s decapitated head was found. She brings in a clue from a man selling Santa Muerta objects. But when they check back up on him, they find him lying dead on the ground, his head decapitated, with the eyes and tongue cut out and the mouth cut open, just like the woman’s head.

Clearly, the audience was thrown off purposefully several times already – and it’s only the third episode of the season! Angel Batista’s bar fight became much more significant after the assaulted officer suffers internal bleeding and files for an internal investigation. Cira is clearly going to be an important asset solving the machete murders. (Incidentally, the actress April Hernández went to Hunter College.) Here we were thinking the Boyd Fowler plot was going to last several episodes – and now he’s dead already. As a pay off, Dex is faced with Boyd’s last would-be victim – and since it’s Julia Stiles, that’s sure to become an interesting story arc. And what to make of the “practically perfect” nanny Sonya? Is she too good to be true? Then we have Quinn, is he going to become the next Sgt. Doakes trying to out Dexter? The heat is definitely on!

Burn Notice 4x14

In their ongoing search to discover who is responsible for Michael’s burn notice, Sam and Michael break into a police station and steal some information in the hopes of tracking down the man who is now in possession of the information that decodes Simon’s coded bible. They get their hands on a series of anonymous e-mails which indicates that the list is up for auction. Now they need help from an insider and lure Jesse’s former handler Marv back to Miami. Reluctantly he agrees and arranges they can get in on the auction in Santo Domingo in two weeks.

Meanwhile, Fiona has taken on a client who claims his sister has been kidnapped by some Venezuelan diplomat. Fiona and Jesse soon learn that the dirty diplomat’s house is much too protected just for holding someone hostage. Just when they are confronting their client he gets shot. Natalie, an old enemy, returns to the scene and tells them that the diplomat is in league with some South American revolutionaries and is holding a chemical weapon on his compound that is so lethal it makes mustard gas smell like cologne. The whole team joins in to save innocent people from dying. Plan A falls through, of course; and even after Plan B succeeds, Natalie still steels the weapon from Sam and is about to sell to some shady suits. Naturally, Michael saves the day and they force Natalie to turn the weapon in with the FBI.

In the end Madeline forces Michael and Jesse to shut it and sit down, to start trusting each other again before one of them ends up dead. She tells Jesse get over the fact that Michael ruined his life, and tells Michael to deal with the fact that Jesse was trying to save his life when he shot him in the chest. She’s not talking about closure, but about good old-fashioned gutting it out. It’s what families do when the lie and betray each other – they suck it up. They shake on it – and then it’s back to business as usual. In all, the episode felt contrived and formulaic, and not as much exciting fun as usual. Even the sit-down at the end was not as gratifying as Madeline’s scenes usually are. It seemed more like a convenient way to get past the guys’ mutual distrust and resentment, instead of dragging it on for too long. Let’s hope the show gets its groove back soon. Over and out.

Weeds 6x13

Nancy and her family have been on the road, off the grid, on the run from Esteban – not to mention the FBI – for the death of his PR manager Pilar. Now Esteban, with the help of Guillermo, has finally caught up. All Esteban seems to care about is his son and he will do whatever it takes to get him back. We all know Nancy will do all and everything to keep him from hurting her children. With Doug still in Regrestic, Andy is in charge to take Silas and Shane to the airport and board for Europe, Warren in tow. Silas, however, prefers to stay with his newfound bio dad, his sperm father – as he calls it. Shane keeps up his I’m-so-cool-I don’t-care attitude. “I’m going to Europe, you’re sitting here in Dearshit, Michigan, in a garage” he replies when Silas asks if he’s going to miss him. “Please, please, choose to not be a dick,” are Silas’ parting words. when Esteban and Guillermo arrive with Nancy at the airport Andy, Shane, Stevie and Warren have already checked in. She is able to get away from them, when airport security asks Esteban a few questions. She signals Andy by cell phone it’s time for Plan C. She meets them in the waiting area, takes little Stevie, and says goodbye as they board the plane. Silas had a change of heart and shows up at the airport. Esteban and Guillermo trade him for Nancy and Stevie. While Silas boards, too, Warren gets arrested for robbing the post office, but he leaves his pillow with Shane – which is filled with wads of the stolen cash! And then, as the plane takes off, Nancy walks out of the terminal – with Esteban and Guillermo watching her every move – straight into Plan C: the FBI is all over the place. She is arrested for the murder of Pilar! What a turn of events – this whole season actually! It has been at times touching, at times bizarre, but most of all it has been a fun ride. The tone was lighter than the previous season, even if the driving factor has been Pilar’s death, and Nancy was finally trying to get a grasp of her life, even if ultimately she failed to escape from her estranged husband’s clutches. It’s a nice little show. I wonder what will happen next season.

Gossip Girl 4x09

There’s another ball. Chuck is throwing a party hoping to get his Empire Hotel back on top. It’s a Black & White, Saints & Sinners masquerade. His business manager, though, advises him that it won’t be good for his image if he’s seen with Blair. Meanwhile Blair is desperate to become spokesperson for a philanthropic organization. And she is told that it won’t be good for her image if she’s seen with Chuck. Columbia Dean Rutherford yet again calls Serena into her office, with Lily in attendance. The whole Colin scandal is costing the university too much. Lily offers an endowment, which the Dean refuses. Then Lily threatens she will send in an article to the NY Times about Columbia professors taking advantage of female students. If that’s not enough drama for Serena, she is still unable to choose between Nate and Dan. Meanwhile, Jenny is back on the block again (remarkably staying off Blair’s radar), intriguing with Juliet and Vanessa. Jenny convinces Lily to talk to Juliet, and then Juliet blackmails Lily to keep her from spreading more ugly gossip about Serena. The trifling trio also intrigues between Serena, Nate and Dan. It all comes to a head, of course, at the ball. Alright, it’s true, the Cricket don’t care no more. Just three more episodes before the season’s over.

Modern Family 1x07

After the previous episode, this one felt a little lame – back to the awkwardness, the incongruous couch talk in between scenes, and especially the ham-fisted “coolness” fail of son-in-law Phil. The main story revolves around Manny’s sudden brush with success at fencing. Everyone is cheering until he’s faced with a girl in the finals. He wants to bow out gracefully, but Gloria and Jay want none of it, until they hear the girl is an orphan, her father died in Afghanistan, she lives in a children’s hospital, and has diabetes... Meanwhile, Mitchell and Claire are on ice, bummed that Jay was never this proud of them – and of course Clair’s kids aren’t particularly excellent at anything, certainly not airhead Haley or lumbering Luke. Mitch blames his sister for quitting their figure skating duo back in the day. She claims she did it to keep him from disgracing himself, but he remembers it was the last time he felt like part of her team. Honestly, I can’t say I enjoyed this much.

In Treatment 3x03

On Wednesdays, Paul’s patient is Jesse, a precociously nervous teenager, who likes to toss about vocab items and talk about Facebook with attention-deficit disorderly panache, rebelliously throwing his angst about while trying to hide his insecurities. He doesn’t like to be corrected when he mispronounces Miriam Webster for the Merriam-Webster’s dictionary. Jesse has been adopted, and apparently his behavior at home has become too much to handle. He has been seeing Paul for some time. In his mind his birth mother is a crack whore, but Paul notices that every time he speaks about his biological father he comes up with a different profession – and probably the one he likes to see himself in. He lashes out against everything and has turned his sense of betrayal and rejection into promiscuous encounters with older men. Then he wants to show Paul something crazy on his iPhone, but Paul tells him no. He finds it distracting. Jesse still plays him a voice-mail message. It’s from his birth mother who has somehow traced his number and would like to talk to him. Her number’s area code is from Westchester. Definitely not a crack whore. More likely, rich WASP. But Jesse has no idea what to do and hasn’t spoken with anyone about it until now. Another interesting session, with lots of promise, and a phenomenal performance by newcomer Dane DeHaan.

Danger After Dark II

Noriko’s Dinner Table (2006) by Sion Sono is a companion piece to Suicide Club (2002). However, it’s neither a prequel nor a sequel. Noriko is an awkwardly shy town girl, desperate to break away from her boredom. Her only friends she meets online. In voice-over narrations she tells us how it is she came to Tokyo. When she first meets her online pal (about half an hour into the movie), you just know things are going to get seriously weird. The pal introduces herself as Kumiko. And just so you know we’re talking seriously messed up we flash forward straight away to half a year later when fifty four girls cheerfully jump in front of the 7:30 train at Shinjuku Station. Meanwhile, Noriko’s family has no clue where she is. Her sister Yuka is still in Yokohama, too, happily telling her boyfriend how her sister may have been one of the suicide girls, and that she knows how all the girls arranged to meet at the station. She shows him the screen with the red and white dots: red for female suicides, white for male. Suddenly the screen turns black with the text, “Am I connected with myself, Sis?” She leaves home, too, but leaving her father clues that he manages to put together: the Suicide Club does exist. For her part, Noriko idealized Kumiko’s happy family: they are connected and share their love at all times. She learns to connect with herself – and empathize with others. Kumiko works in “family rental” pretending to be some client’s family member for money. In his own search to find his daughters, Noriko’s father learns that he really is in search of himself. Like its predecessor, this film thus explores computer-age alienation, the loss of connectedness, and emotional isolation in modern urban society. If you were expecting another splatterfest, though, you will be disappointed as the movie is more of a psychological drama. It is also one of the rare occasions where the cinematographic effects (fast editing, dangling cameras, etc.) actually work well to convey the emotional landscape of the characters.

Aragami (2003) by Ryuhei Kitamura is the counterpart of Yukihiko Tsutsumi’s 2LDK (2002). This film, too, features mainly two actors battling, set within a single set, and was produced within one week. But that is where the similarities end. Interestingly, while the cinematography (as well as the continuous electronic pop rock synthesizer soundtrack) is decidedly modern, the story is set in a once-upon-a-time far-faraway, reminiscent of a traditional Japanese tale. A samurai regains consciousness in a remote mountain temple after falling at the entrance with life-threatening wounds. He learns that his companion did not survive, but the inhabitant of the temple invites him to stay and entertains him with a luscious meal, French wine and Russian vodka. He regales the samurai with frightful stories about Tengu (long-nosed mountain goblins) and Aragami, the Raging God of Battle. The samurai soon discovers that his wounds have all healed, but how? His host explains he gave him his friend’s flesh! But who is this host? He was once the legendary Miyamoto Musashi, the greatest warrior ever known, but now has become none other than Aragami himself! They duel, but even when Aragami runs his blade through the samurai’s stomach, it leaves only a scratch. His wounds heal due to the cannibalistic meal, but he is not immortal, as the head or the heart will kill him dead. Aragami has become weary of his existence and hopes this samurai will be the one to kill him honorably. Although the sword-fighting acrobatics are worth the watch alone, it’s the increasing psychological tension that makes this film a satisfying experience. Quite a feat considering the constrained conditions of two actors in a single set!

Before we get to The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai (2003) by Mitsuru Meike, it might be useful to first discuss (however briefly) the pinku eiga genre. Pinku eiga emerged in the 60s as a genre evading Japanese censorship laws by blocking or blurring genitals while maintaining a required minimum quota of sex scenes (some four or five per hour). Terms such as “soft-core” or “sexploitation” are somewhat misleading, as the genre often contains elements of action, thriller, violence, horror, and/or political commentary. In this case, the titular Sachiko Hanai is a role-play call girl specialized in playing home-tutoring. What sets the narrative is that Sachiko next gets hit by a bullet in the forehead while trying to take a picture of a shady business transaction running foul between a North Korean and Middle Eastern in a cafeteria. Miraculously, she survives, but the bullet lodged in her brain spurts her intelligence to ponder the abstract universe and subjective truth in mathematical equations. Plus, she can foresee future events, which involve sex and violence – and she finds she has a much delayed taste sensation. We are bombarded with musings about situationalism, rationalism and the Platonist view on Christianity, objective reality and Japan’s lack of a nuclear military strategy to match that of Russia or the U.S, all combined with sex (not the sensual erotic or even graphic pornographic kind, but of the prosaic, romping, five-minute sort – including six gallon ejaculations). Sachiko also discovers a silver cylinder containing a clone of George W’s finger. He appears to her in a reflection urging her to defend world peace and democracy. I’m sure you can guess where that finger is going. While she is climaxing, we are shown images of the U.S. invasion of Iraq, the toppling of Saddam Hussein’s statue, and of Bush inspecting his fleet. Meanwhile, the North Korean who shot her in the cafeteria hopes to retrieve Bush’s finger, for it controls nuclear Armageddon. In the end, after abstract infinity, cogito ergo sum, beef stew, dues ex machina, and more sex, Sachiko walks out of a primordial cave straight into nuclear obliteration. A must see!

Dexter 5x02

Dexter takes a plunge in the pool, much like Don Draper in Mad Men’s “Summer Man” (4x08), trying to wash away his sense of guilt over Rita’s death. Plus, he’s worried that the FBI is suspecting him of murdering his wife. They drill him about his alibi, his night trips in his boat. They keep quizzing him. After a burst of anger, they calm him down. They know he didn’t kill his wife, he was at “The Trinity Killer’s” house as part of the police team. What they are hoping for is a clue why Arthur “Trinity” Mitchell would want to kill Rita. “Because he’s a serial killer,” he quips. After the interview, the FBI agents tell Lt. LaGuerta that the only other lead they have is the name “Kyle Butler.” That is, the name Dex went by when dealing with the Mitchell’s, but they don’t know that. Not yet, at least.

Dex is also worried about the kids, or rather about how he will deal with his dark urges when he becomes a single dad. Cody seems to handle the situation fine. For him living in the condo with Deb and Dex is like camping. But Astor is still bitter. The next day, Dex finds them in the old house, skipping school, looking at the bathtub where it all happened. Astor feels Dexter betrayed her trust. She was led to believe he would make things better, but they only got worse. She tells him she wants to live with her grandparents. Cody would rather stay with Deb and Dex, but Dex can’t split them up – knowing how much he has always relied on Deb (and vice versa). They are moving to Orlando.

Miami Homicide is called on the scene of a horrifying crime scene: a woman’s decapitated head with eyes and tongue cut out, and her mouth cut open. A local Hispanic police officer tells Deb that all the candles and attributes are associated with the Santa Muerte cult (like in Breaking Bad). Det. Quinn’s hunch is that the murder is drug related. The Latina officer suspects the murder weapon was a machete – not an indication of gang warfare. Not much later, there’s another victim. This time an apparent suicide. It’s the husband of the decapitated women, who took his own life with a shotgun through the head. Did he kill himself after murdering her? Or did he take his own life because he couldn’t save her in time?

When moving things from the old family house to his condo, he can’t help noticing some drops of blood in the rented van. After an U.V. inspecting he puts together the pieces of a brutal murder inside the van. Despite the situation with the kids, he can’t help himself and checks out the name of the previous person who rented the van. His name is Boyd Fowler, who works at the Department of Sanitation in dead animal pickup. Dexter reasons that the better killer he is, the better father he will be – focused. So, he follows Fowler around and learns he dumps barrels in a remote lake – with dead women inside. He’s hot on the trail of another sick psychopathic serial killer, one who kills young women, dumps them in barrels of formaldehyde, and collects locks of their hair.

This was another deeply gratifying, emotional episode. The scenes with Dex and the kids were very touching. In a way, it was inevitable that Astor and Cody had to get out of the picture (gracefully). It would be difficult offering a compelling story arc. Plus, the family life would only become a burden for the Dex’ Dark Passenger. On second thought, I found it a little contrived how Dexter got on the trail of that Fowler freak. Is this new serial killer going to be this season’s main story, or is the machete murder going to drive the main plot? Is Quinn going to uncover Dexter as “Kyle Butler”? (The Mitchell’s provided composite sketches that he may piece together.) Incredible how this show leaves the audience guessing!

Burn Notice 4x13

Welcome back, Michael Westen, we’ve missed you! Glad you’re still alive, though barely. He’s been in a coma, on life support for three days. “Where Am I?” “Miami.” That telecom CEO John Barrett is dead – thanks to Sam and Fiona – and so are most of his henchmen. But the briefcase with Simon’s coded bible is still missing. He’s barely on his feet and he already attracts an unwitting client in the hospital after a large explosion in South Beach brings in many wounded victims to the emergency room. This is where the plot’s credibility gets stretched beyond my comfort zone, because apparently the criminal defense attorney who Michael last helped retrieve his daughter, is now hell bent on revenge: for the target of the South Beach bombing was the gang leader behind the kidnapping. Very effective method of elimination: blow up explosives on a busy stretch of town to kill your archenemy. Naturally, the attorney did not get his hands dirty, but employed your average run-of-the-mill fantastically fanatic narcissistic paranoid psychopath with delusions of grandeur wishing to rid the earth of all the scum willing to blow people to smithereens in the process.

With the media all over Barrett’s global conspiracy, Vaughn stops by to apologize to Michael for busting in on their meeting with Barrett guns a-blazing, and to say goodbye. Jesse is back on board, reluctantly, not to make nice – on the contrary, he’s meaner and leaner than ever – but to finish the job and find the coded bible. It leads to another trail of blood. (No doubt they are not going to get their hands on the thing until the end of the season.) At the end of the day, Madeline asks her son why he does what he does, the vigilante stuff and the pursuit of those who blacklisted him. He has been thinking about it every day since the day he got burned, but he doesn’t know. A little trite. There were some good bits this episode. Fortunately Michael was evidently still suffering from his wounds – rather than walking out of the hospital kicking ass. It all did feel a little contrived, though, and so much got crammed into the episode it was hard to keep track.

Weeds 6x12

This season the twists and turns on Weeds, as Nancy and family meander on and off the road, have been hilariously entertaining. Now the season is drawing to a close already. Last week we were left to wonder why on earth Nancy would tell her side of the story to this nebbish journalist guy Vaughn. When we pick up the story, we find Nancy murmuring about swing parties until he breaks her off and gets to the point: who killed Pilar? He seems to know a lot, and runs the theory be her that Shane killed Pilar. She doesn’t reply. Andy has shot a fake video to convince Daoud Mahmud he’s killed Hooman Jaka. But the video is not enough. Before Mahmud will give them their passports, he wants Jaka’s dick. Andy and Hooman walk into a morgue and ask, well, for a dick! The attendant cuts it off, hands it to Andy with the wise words, “enjoy that cock.” A scene ensues when Mahmud still doesn’t believe Andy. Out of spite Mahmud’s wife is willing to give him the passports for $5,000.

Meanwhile, Doug has returned to Agrestic (renamed Regrestic) to collect his passport so he can join the gang to Copenhagen. The scene in the living room when he discovers his wife has remarried is funny beyond description. (Kevin Nealon is such a comedic talent!) His wife’s new husband is good-looking for his age, an architect, a great cook, a jazz pianist, he used to know Jack Kerouac a little and he’s friends with Sidney Poitier. Hilarious! For his part, Sileas learns who his real father is and decides to stay in Dearborn, rather than join his family abroad, while Shane and Warren plunder the storage room filled with undelivered mail for Christmas cards money. Will Nancy leave for Copenhagen without Silas? Well, there was that cliffhanger in the last minute...

Gossip Girl 4x08

Just when Gossip Girl has been nominated for Favorite TV Drama in the 2011 People’s Choice Awards, your one and only Cricket was considering quitting it. “Really?” I hear you wonder, “Only now?” Yes, halfway through the fourth season I am starting to find the trivial trials and tribulations of Manhattan’s Upper East Side elite are getting just a tad tedious. But, what the hey, I’ll finish the season anyway. It’s only a couple more episodes. When it comes to Chuck and Blair, we would have thought peace in the Middle East would happen sooner than peace on the Upper East. But they’ve been making nice – very nice. Still, Blair is embarrassed and decides to have a Blassectomy, to chuck Chuck, rather than have excessive ex sex. Serena is still struggling to stay away from Professor Colin Forrester, the guy she met only a few weeks ago – always scooting different women into cabs – but she hates seeing her life pass her by while waiting for the semester to end.

Stalking Flatchester caught cousin Colin kissing Serena on video, but will she risk his reputation only to bring her down? Dan catches Serena coming out of a cab with Prof. Forrester, while Serena catches Chuck and Blair returning from a quickie in Morningside Park. Nate discovers that Juliet doesn’t live in the building where she claims to live. He confronts her while he recruits Vanessa to find her real address. We are made to believe that she is willing to give up all the lies for Nate, but now Vanessa has the memory stick with the naughty pictures of Colin’s teacher’s pet. As always there’s a party, at the opening of the New York Ballet winter season this time, and everyone is there. Let’s just say it wasn’t a ball. Nate and Serena, Chuck and Blair gang up on Juliet and with the ugly duckling exiled from main street, who else can she turn to than the other exile, Jenny? Yes, her, oh, and Vanessa, too, of course, the other outsider. Will they form a fearsome threesome, or will they turn into tiresome triplets?

BBC Oceans: Arctic Ocean

Only about 5% of the world’s oceans have been explored. This program has aimed at bringing the earth’s seas closer to home. In this last installment, the scientific exploration team takes us to the Arctic Ocean, one of the most hostile bodies of water on the planet – and naturally one of the least explored. Global warming, obviously, is changing this ocean dramatically. Already one and a half million square miles of the arctic ice cap have melted in the last thirty years. Paul Rose and Tooni Mahto dive beneath the polar ice cap to see what may be causing the ice cover to shrink – in addition to the increase of air temperature. What we learn is that the more ice melts, the more the surrounding water absorbs heat of the sun light, due to which the water temperature increases, thus causing the underside of the caps to melt from below. With the opportunity at hand, Lucy Blue and Philippe Cousteau Jr. take measurements of the thickness of the ice. Only caps as thick as six feet are likely to survive the summer. Their measurements confirm scientific calculations that much of the polar cap is less than six feet – and thus the loss of the ice cover is only going to accelerate in the near future. This is disconcerting to human survival, because the more ice is lost, the faster global warming will become. Perhaps already in 2013 the Arctic Ocean will be without ice during the summer. As all the world’s oceans are connected with the Arctic, currents will be effected, and thus the Earth’s climate patterns. The importance of the North Pole can thus not be overstated.

The receding ice cover certainly threatens animals who rely on it, and most vulnerable of all is the polar bear. Yet, just as important for the eco-system are the crustaceans near the bottom of the food chain on which even whales feed. The team is very fortunate to spot several dozen white Beluga whales around the fjords of Svalbard. Lucy also examines how humans have exploited these waters for centuries. She takes us to the remains of Smeerenburg (“blubber town”), Europe’s northernmost outpost on Spitsbergen, settled by the Dutch Northern Company in 1619 as a whaling station. Walruses, too, were nearly hunted to extinction for their fat. Now on Spitsbergen, the population has increased to about two thousand – and they may actually be benefiting from the rising temperatures. At the edge of the North Atlantic and Arctic Oceans, Philippe and Lucy are surprised to find a colorful underwater Garden of Eden, of red soft corals and pink anemones, green kelp, as well as starfish and crab. Overall, I guess the Cricket has been too spoiled by David Attenborough’s amazing nature documentaries, because in comparison BBC’s Oceans is disappointing. Throughout the series the focus was very much on the four members of the team, which distracts from the natural beauty that allegedly is the show’s main subject. At times it was nearly impossible to make out what they were saying through their snorkels – nor do I know why we should care whether or not they have seen this species or that natural feature before. There were, to be sure, some beautiful and interesting scenes. And for that I am grateful.

In Treatment 3x02

Paul Weston’s second new patient this year, Frances (Debra Winger), is a well known movie and stage actress who has trouble remembering her lines. Paul tries to find a way through her evasive façade fast to find out what may trigger her mind blanking. She’s divorced not too long ago, and her teenage daughter is acting up. She’s struggling with a sense of guilt, but refusing to accept she bailed out on her daughter. She’s insecure about her age, but is defiant about that, too. And then, after ranting on about one thing after another, and losing her train of thought, she blurts out that her sister (who used to be Paul’s patient eighteen years ago) is sick, stage-four breast cancer and doctors have stopped chemo-therapy. Paul suggests she deliberately came to him to learn more about her sister, that she may have chosen her new job to escape the troubles in her life, and that she may be losing her train of thought during rehearsals just as she did earlier when she got angry. After her time is up, Paul calls a doctor acquaintance for a referral to a neurologist. Last year his father died of Parkinson’s, and now Paul’s hands are starting to tremble. Could it be a symptom? So, while Frances was rattling on about teenagers and divorce, getting older and death, all of that was hitting home painfully.

Tinariwen: Imidiwan

It has been a long while since the Cricket chirped musically, so it is high time to do something about it! Let me thus introduce to you the Tuareg seven-piece musical collective known as Tinariwen from Mali. Their style has been described as Desert Guitar Blues. The irony is, perhaps, that Tinariwen is rooted in traditional West African music that itself is the ancestor of the American Blues. Add Malian influence (think Salif Keïta and Ali Farka Touré), plus Tuareg and Berber, mix in a few sprinkles of Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, Santana and Dire Straits, and you’ll get a unique blend that sounds simultaneously modern and as old as the world, both pleasantly familiar and surprisingly otherworldly. Other reviewers use words as “hypnotic” and “mesmerizing” to describe Imidiwan (“Companions”; 2009), they refer to the scorching Saharan sun and the dusty desert winds, they allude to their rebel past and their persistence not to cater to Western commercial pop rock expectations. All of this is good and true. Yet it hardly comes close to prepare the listener for the beautiful music of this album. The Cricket hears layers of ragged (mostly electric) rhythm guitars over a dragging bass, droning percussion, hand claps and finger snaps. Above the rhythm section soar sinewy melodic leads that remind these ears of John Lee Hooker and J.J. Cale. Then there are the achingly wistful vocals full of deeply personal emotions that resonate across the globe – even if we cannot comprehend the lyrics (translations are included in the booklet). Celebratory choruses offer occasional reprieve, especially on the upbeat “Lulla.” It’s only the bonus track “Desert Wind” that sounds out of place – as it moves gratuitously into Brian Eno territory. Still, those last few minutes should not detract anything but the warmest recommendations. Have a listen yourself. Tinariwen will soothe your soul.

Dexter 5x01

The new season of Dexter started way back in late September. We are reminded that initially, Dexter had been drawn to Rita because he felt that she, like him, was damaged emotionally – while she honestly believed that he was an good and decent man. Well, Dex remembers that even on their first date, he slipped out to satisfy his urge to kill someone – someone who, no doubt, deserved to die according to the twisted Code of Harry, the man he thought was his foster father, but was actually his biological dad. Having Rita and her kids was a great camouflage for his Dark Secret. But things got more complicated – as they tend to do in life – as they became family, got married and had a baby. Now Rita is dead, the last victim of “The Trinity Killer.” Over the course of the previous seasons, our Darkly Dreaming Dexter also had to deal with “The Ice Truck Killer” (his brother), “The Bay Harbor Butcher” (Dexter himself) and “The Skinner,” in his profession as blood-splatter analyst at the Miami Metro Police Department of Homicide. Who is going to be his main antagonist this season? How is he going to cope with Rita’s kids? And, more importantly, how is Dex going to cope with the loss of his emotional and moral support, the only human connection to reality besides Debra?

At Miami Homicide, Lt. LaGuerta warns her department that the FBI is in charge of the investigation of Rita’s death, but everyone wants to be in on the case, because it’s Rita and because it’s Dexter, and because they have so many unanswered questions. In fact, Det. Quinn soon suspects Dexter. “When a wife is murdered, 90% of the time it’s the husband,” he offers. What is his alibi? That he killed “The Trinity Killer”? That he was the only witness at the secret ceremony of LaGuerta and Batista’s wedding? Personally, Dexter is incapable of displaying his emotions and unable to deal with the funeral arrangements. Debra’s undying support for her brother is simply heart wrenching. Astor, Rita’s daughter, responds as teenagers do, bitterly angry – blaming Dexter for not protecting her mother, which is exactly what Dex feels himself. So, he acts on impulse, torching his storage space, taking off on his boat with a fresh set of clothes, the tool of his trade and a memento of his past, of who he really is – the blood slide collection of his victims. When he happens upon some hick in a bathroom, he brutally beats him to death, in full daylight, covering himself in blood. Venting his rage, his loss and sense of guilt all sink in, and he breaks down crying.

This episode certainly added another layer or two of emotional depth to the main characters. The human dimension of everyone’s loss and grief is depicted excellently. I am less sure about Deb’s hook up with Quinn on Dexter’s bathroom floor. (Is it me, or does Desmond Harrington really look frightfully thin?) What this episode didn’t give is much of a hint of what’s to come this season. The Cricket has heard that Julia Stiles will play the new woman in Dex’ life ... interesting! That Maria Doyle Kennedy (Katherine of Aragon of The Tudors) will guest star as an Irish nanny. That there will be a few new police offers at Miami Metro. That Chris Vance (Burn Notice) will join the cast, as will Jonny Lee Miller (Trainspotting). This all sounds exciting – and I can’t wait to see what’s coming. (Of course, when you’re reading this, I’ll be already mid-season.) Do check back in for more!

Modern Family 1x06

It’s the first day of school for our modern family. It’s all nervous energy as Clair is preparing breakfast and lunch, Haley is worried her friends are going to think she is dating a 40-year old who’s not even cute if her driving instructor is going to pick her up from school, Luke never made his summer assignment, and Alex has trouble dragging all her things to school. She explains that cellists are in more demand in university orchestras. “You know what’s not in demand?” Haley chides, “Girls in university orchestras.” For his part, Phil believes he knows it all: first day of school is tough for stay at home moms, with the kids gone, the nest is empty. But Phil listens, with his mind. So he took the day off to keep her company, although she just wants to catch up on some reading. “If you listen,” Phil explains,” women will tell you what they want by telling you the opposite of what they want.” Wise words, indeed. Before you know it he feels Clair is challenging him for a 2-mile run. “You think I can’t keep up with you?” – “I think you can’t keep up with this conversation.” And it’s on! As expected, Phil has a hard time keeping up with Clair – and then she realizes the first day of school is hard for all her kids, including the one she married. She lets him win and right when he’s basking in his glory, Haley slams her driving instructor’s car into her father, making him fly over the car. “I’m good. I’m good!” Phil shouts, while Haley looks on in horror.

Meanwhile, Manny wants to wear his traditional Colombian poncho to school to show the kids he is proud of his cultural heritage. After Jay returns from dropping him off, Gloria notices the poncho’s still in the car. She convinces Jay to go back and support Manny. Then Manny pulls out his pan-flute – and Gloria begs Jay to break the flute. “The poncho by itself is fine,” she says, “The poncho plus the flute plus the stupid dance? My son will die a virgin.” Little Lily of course is too young for school, but Cameron is dressing her up as various pop icons for his photo shoots. Mitchell’s more concerned about baby-proofing all the pointy objects around the house. Cameron tells his to stop worrying and just dance with their baby. But when he does, Mitchell bumps Lily’s head on the door jam. Much comedy ensues in their panic. Plus there’s a nice guest bit for Suzy Nakamura. Actually, unless it’s the alcohol talking, I thought this episode was quite hilarious. No, seriously, I watched it three times.

Weeds 6x11

Silas, pretending to be called Mike, stops by Lars Guinard’s house again – the man who used to date Nancy in high school. They wind up talking and Silas mention’s his mom’s name. “You don’t look anything like her.” They talk some more over beer, and suddenly Silas blurts out, “I think you’re my dad.” And after dropping that on him, he takes off. Meanwhile Nancy has delivered the first load of their fierce concoction, and she asks the club owner, Hooman Jaka, if he knows where she can get fake passports. He gives her a name and address, “for her man.” She asks him what it is with all the oppression of women. “You guys scare the shit out of us,” he says honestly. Then Andy goes to the office of this fancy businessman, Daoud Mahmed. “That fucking piece of shit cocksucker, I spit on Hooman!” Later, at his home, it transpires that Mahmed’s daughter is actually about to marry Hooman. Since Andy doesn’t have enough money for all the passports, Mahmed proposes that Andy makes sure the marriage isn’t going to happen. Briefly pondering if that means sleeping with his gorgeous daughter, Andy says, “Okaaaay, you mean break them up!” “Not good enough,” Mahmed wants Hooman dead.

For his part, Shane lets it slip that Nancy isn’t going to stay for much longer with Warren, who freaks out, unwittingly drinks Andy’s magic potion, starts bouncing and acting all zany. (Richard Dreyfuss may actually be having even more fun than the audience!) But what I really want to know is who this “Ellis Tate” is, the guy who approached Nancy in the cemetery. Warren isn’t much of a help, “the big black guy? No! Oh, no, fat girl. Yeah, I’m pretty sure.” She stops by the school library to check the year books, meanwhile getting scolded for calling a classmate a prude, and finds that Ellis was in fact a fat girl – and not a nebbish looking guy. Curious, as always, and no doubt worried, she can’t help but call fake Ellis. She lures him out of his motel room, breaks in, finds loads of news paper clippings, photos, discs and files – about herself and her family. Then he barges back in. He’s a journalist, Vaughn Coleman, wanting to write her story – and he’s offering to help her expose the criminals, before they get to her. If he can find her, they will, too, soon. She agrees – I must say, a tad surprisingly – and starts telling her side of the story.

Gossip Girl 4x07

By now the only redeeming quality of GG is the game Blair and Chuck keep playing to bury their love underneath geological layers of spiteful intrigue. Serena’s dalliance with her Business Psychology professor is tedious to the extreme. Enough already! Dan’s effort to bring back Jenny for a family celebration of the first anniversary of Rufus’ and Lily’s marriage would have been laughable if he wasn’t so annoying. And I am certainly fed up by that Flatchester girl and her imprisoned brother. At least it turns out Collin is not in on her schemes, he is her cousin helping her get through college. But Ben is still hell-bent on getting Serena expelled, because she is responsible for “everything” ... Oh, the mystery! What in the name of all that is unholy could Serena have done to this boy in his orange suit?

Nate and Serena force Chuck and Blair to sign a peace treaty to commit them to their ceasefire, under the threat of ex-communication. They are willing to play along, but are they going their separate ways as disgruntled enemies? It’s Blair’s twentieth birthday. Naturally the party is going to be all glamor and sophistication. Everyone who’s anyone is there. Dan is still pining that his family didn’t have a celebration of their own – with Jenny – and hopes to sabotage the festivities by showing an embarrassing video of Blair karaokeing. For shame! One of the guests falls flat on her ass and knocks over a bowl of chocolate sauce. Blair blames Chuck, who denies, Dan confesses, his father is horrified, Lily just finds it amusing. Party’s over. After they’ve sworn their mutual undying hatred, Chuck grabs Blair’s neck, they kiss, he lifts her atop the grand piano, and they start making passionate love. ’Bout time.

BBC Oceans: Mediterranean Sea

The secrets of the earth’s oceans have remained largely undiscovered. Our oceanographic exploration team is trying to put the world’s oceans in a human scale. This time the expedition is headed for the Mediterranean, which last time the Cricket checked wasn’t technically an ocean, but we are informed it is in fact the remains of an ancient ocean. It is home to about ten percent of the planet’s marine life, Western civilization developed around its shores, and the hundred million visitors every year are having a profound effect on these waters. When maritime archaeologist Lucy Blue sets out to dive the remains of a Roman shipwreck, I was hoping for a site of a naval battle during the First Punic War, because they do take us to near the Egadi Islands (site of the war’s last battle in 241 BCE). Alas, all we get is a pottery field of amphorae. Truly incredible, though, is the footage of Paul Rose and Tooni Mahto seemingly flying through the clear water of an underwater cave beneath Mallorca. Spectacularly sculptural stalactites and stalagmites indicate that tens of thousands of years ago these caves were above the water line until the sea level rose and flooded them with salt water.

Around the submerged Ferdinandea volcano, created by the collision of the European and African continents, the team learns that industrial fishing has extinguished larger fish such as sardines and tuna – indicating that the entire eco-system may be at risk. Environmentalist Philippe Cousteau Jr. then inspects a blue-fin tuna farm. Glad as he is seeing these beautiful fish, he is obviously enraged, knowing how they are on the brink of extinction once again due to overfishing. Later, Philippe and the team search for the great white shark, as the Sicilian Channel is a nursery for its juveniles. But despite all their efforts they remain unsuccessful. In the Straits of Messina (where the First Punic War commenced), however, expedition leader Paul Rose is able to sight the prehistoric six-gill shark, the largest living predatory fish. And what a marvelous sight it is!

In Treatment 3x01

Off the bat, things are going to be different this season on In Treatment. For one, Dianne Wiest won’t be returning as Paul’s therapist Gina – which is a shame, because their sessions were frequently the highpoint of the week. Additionally, this season is not based on the Israeli original BeTipol, so this will be a test case to see if Rodrigo García and his team can pull off another successful season on their own. From this first episode alone, I would say there’s no reason to worry. Paul Weston’s new patient, Sunil, is a highly intelligent and poetic, compassionate and funny, though somewhat cynical, Bengali who arrived only recently in New York. His son and daughter-in-law are worried that he is not coping well with the loss of his wife of thirty years. Daughter-in-law Julia is a gorgeous woman, a literary agent, afraid for his well-being, afraid of his effect on her children, afraid of him – but in his words, Julia is really afraid of herself, of the emptiness inside her. Sunil is a proud man, with a full life behind him, who finds her frivolous and superficial – a bad influence on his son. His son Arun is an optometrician, yet he prescribed his father medication to deal with his grief. When Paul asks Sunil if the medication has any effect on him, he replies that he is “one hundred percent absolutely scientifically positive” they have no effect, because he is actually planting them – in the lily that Julia put in his room. I didn’t know how much I missed the show until I saw the season premiere. What an incredible performance of all involved. I am already intrigued by these new characters. As a side note, the Cricket won’t be posting back-to-back chirps as the episodes air on HBO. Instead you may expect them once a week.

Caprica 1x13

The Cricket asked for more about Zoe kicking ass in v-world – and what do we get? A whole episode without her or her various permutations, or Tamara, or Lacey... Instead the focus is on Daniel and Amanda Graystone. Daniel has created an avatar of his estranged wife in an attempt to be with his family. He puts her to the test, but keeps getting disappointed. He tells her about the lies he told her, he yells at her, he even smacks her, but all he gets are emotionless responses. She just wants to sleep with him. She’s the perfect wife, but not the real thing – which is better. This failure to get the avatar to access feelings also spells problems for his latest project, Grace by Graystone, promoting his avatar software as a means to let lost loved ones live on in virtual reality. Meanwhile Amanda is making a concerted effort ingratiating herself in the polygamous community of Sister Clarice Willow to learn more about the STO so that the police can finally arrest these terrorists that killed her daughter. For her part, Clarice is not making much headway getting her Apotheosis program up and running, but she is still devoutly confident that she is the chosen vessel of the One True God to unite the Twelve World under His worship. In other developments, Joseph Adama’s Ha’latha brother Sam is running into trouble dealing arms. To eliminate a rival gang he steals one of the Cylons to wreak some serious havoc. He suggests to the Guatrau they should use the robots in the Tauran rebellion against playboy dictator Andreas Phaulkon, apparently a pawn of the richer worlds – i.e., Caprica. All of this is vaguely interesting, but really all over the place.

Surprising as it was that Syfy aired this second half of the season earlier than initially scheduled, it is less surprising that the remaining five episodes will be put on hold until the first quarter of next year, after which the show will be canceled. It remains difficult to sympathize with most of the main characters. The plot is hardly compelling and meanders off time and again. The events are supposedly set half a century before the Battlestar Galactica series, when Bill Adama was a boy. No one later seems to remember any of the events taking place in Caprica, and there is frightfully little to gratify the BSG fans – except for the Cylons. Rather than intergalactic space fights, the viewer gets human drama – and that with barely an ounce of psychological depth. That the series failed to capture an audience is only to be expected. We’ll see if the Cricket can bring himself to watch the remaining episodes next year.